


The Island

by saddle_tramp



Category: NSYNC
Genre: Crack, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2001-02-24
Updated: 2001-02-24
Packaged: 2017-10-15 22:04:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 34,813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/165372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saddle_tramp/pseuds/saddle_tramp
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rating: NC-17<br/>Warnings: Infamous Justin-as-a-horse badfic.</p><p>Summary: <br/>An early 1860's AU wherein Joshtin meets <i>'Ladyhawke'</i> and <i>'The Black Stallion'</i> and my imagination runs away with my complete inability to ignore a cracky plotbunny that snuck up and bit me in my sleep.</p><p>No, I don't remember what I was on at the time, but it must have been the good stuff.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Island

**Author's Note:**

> Note:  
> Once upon a time, this was going to be a five-part short story. I finished it, and _liked_ that much of it, but then a few people asked me to go on and I had vague ideas of where it could go, so I allowed myself to be persuaded. I intended ten chapters after that, but I lost my inspiration for the entire fandom after eight. This is the final version and will **not** be continued at some later date.
> 
> This thing won _awards_ for badfic back in the day, but I still get someone asking me if I'll send it to them every month or two, so yeah. I'm posting it. If you love the crack, then yay!
> 
> If not, well, don't ever say you weren't warned. :-P

 

 

~ ~ 1~ ~

 

He woke up face down on the beach in the moonlight, cold and tired with the surf lapping at his legs.

He had no real recollection of anything directly leading up to that, only vague memories of sunlight and swimming and a horse, which all made no sense to him. Before that the last thing he remembered was something he instinctively knew was long ago, someone - his mother maybe? - saying what he suddenly realized was his name.

He was Joshua - he held on to that thought as though it were a lifeline - and he was alone and exhausted and didn't know where he was. He thought about that a moment as he sat up, shivering on the damp sand as he looked around at the rocks surrounding the little cove he was in and wondered how he got there. He stood slowly and moved away from the water a few minutes later, continuing up the beach towards the rocks until he reached comparatively dry sand still warm from the sun the day before. He laid down near the base of one of the boulders and curled up to sleep, hoping everything would make more sense when next he woke.

He slept fitfully for several hours before he felt a hand settle on his shoulder, gently shaking him as a quiet voice said, "Wake up."

Joshua opened his eyes quickly, blinking in the dim silvery light just before dawn in an effort to wake up faster and hoping whoever had awakened him knew what was going on. Joshua rolled over to look at the man who'd spoken, and his eyes widened when he saw the half-naked boy who crouched in the sand next to him. He stared unabashedly, taking in the almost pretty face with bright eyes and a halo of red-gold curls before his eyes wandered down over the boy's muscular upper body and came to rest on the large, strong hand that rested on Joshua's arm.

The boy blushed then and pulled his hand away, averting his gaze and gesturing towards the water only a few feet away. "You shouldn't stay here, the tide will be up to these rocks soon."

"Where am I?" Joshua asked. "Do I know you?"

The boy looked at him in surprise as he asked, "You don't know?"

Joshua shook his head, rolling his eyes. " _No_ , or I wouldn't have to ask. I remember my name is Joshua, and seeing a horse, and swimming, and that's it."

The boy's eyes widened, then he said softly, "I don't know you, I was climbing on the rocks," he gestured towards a large boulder across the cove, about a hundred feet away, "and I saw you laying here. I came to see if you were alive."

Joshua looked towards the rocks in surprise, and then looked back at the boy. "What in the world were you doing climbing alone at night?! That's dangerous!"

The boy flushed again, more from annoyance than anything else, and stood suddenly. "I climb up there every morning to watch the sunrise, and I can take care of myself just fine, I always have. Just so you know, we're the only two people on this island, but unlike _you_ , I know how I got here."

He turned to walk away then and Joshua impulsively grabbed his ankle to stop him, looking scared. "Don't leave me here alone, _please_. I'm sorry."

The boy looked down at him for a long moment, then glanced at the rapidly lightening horizon and sighed. "I have to leave you, but you can meet me after dark if you want. Go through the rocks here," he pointed to a gap about twenty feet away, "and then head inland, keeping your morning shadow straight in front of you. You'll find a clearing before long and there's a waterfall beyond it, you can wait for me there tonight. And don't try to touch the horse, he's not really tame and he might hurt you."

The boy pulled away then and hurried away through the gap in the boulders as Joshua stared after him in shock for a long moment, then Joshua scrambled to his feet and followed him just as the first rays of dawn hit the rocks around him. He hurried his steps when he heard the unmistakable sound of hooves, and a few moments later he emerged from the far side of the rocks to see thick jungle with a narrow path in front of him, a beach curving away from him to the left with nobody in sight in either direction.

"Hello?!" he called, looking down the beach and then moving towards the path into the jungle - the boy had said to go into the jungle - as he looked for some sign of life. He was only a short distance down the path when he saw the hoofprints and stopped abruptly to backtrack, wide-eyed. The hoofprints seemed to just start from nowhere about twenty feet into the jungle, and the trail was narrow with brush obviously too dense for a horse to pass through without leaving evidence of it. There was no sign of anything like that, just the hoofprints that appeared from nowhere and headed down the path.

Joshua stared at the tracks for a long time before he started down the path again, warily looking around for some sign of the horse the boy warned him about or the boy himself until he noticed a banana tree. He stopped to take one - most were too green to eat – and then continued along the path, pausing occasionally to pick a banana or piece of citrus fruit from one of the other trees that grew near the path. He had walked for almost an hour when he saw a break in the trees ahead and hurried his steps, tossing aside the last of what he thought was a wild cousin of an orange - it was a small, tart orange citrus fruit barely as big as his thumb - just before he reached the edge of a large meadow that looked like it had been trimmed recently, stopping abruptly as he heard what sounded like an angry snort.

Joshua shrank back against the closest tree as he looked towards the sound and was surprised to see a rather leggy palomino walking towards him slowly, head and tail in the air as its ears flickered back and forth, obviously considering him. It didn't look at all happy, but Joshua remembered very little about horses at the moment so that impression could have been his overactive imagination combined with the fact the boy had told him the horse might hurt him.

"It's okay boy... Girl... Uh, horse," he said, making the horse stop abruptly and snort again. "I won't hurt you. I don't even want to bother you, I'm just looking for the water the boy said was this way."

The palomino watched him for a long moment and then whickered softly before it ducked its head to get a mouthful of grass and then jerked its head up to stare at him again, chewing with a few blades sticking out of the side of its mouth.

Joshua smiled hesitantly then, reassured enough by the fact the horse was eating - it couldn't bite him with a mouthful of grass, right? - that he took a slow step away from the tree. "You don't seem so bad, maybe the boy was wrong." He took another step towards the horse then, holding out his hand. "Will you let me pet you?"

The horse snorted and shook its head at him before it turned and trotted away, its white tail switching slightly with every step until it disappeared into the trees.

"I guess that was a no," Joshua said wryly, then turned to continue across the meadow, wondering how far this waterfall was. He quickened his pace when he heard water in the trees ahead, wondering absently who took such good care of the meadow until he realized that the grass must be so short from the horse grazing. The boy had said they were alone on the island so it wasn't likely someone was keeping it trimmed like he had first thought.

A few minutes later he was on his knees at the edge of a pool by a tiny little waterfall, drinking thirstily and ignoring everything around him until something suddenly pushed the middle of his back, making him lose his balance and fall into the knee-deep water. He came up spluttering and brushed wet hair out of his face to see the palomino a few feet away, its ears pricked as it watched him through its long white forelock.

"You did that on purpose, didn't you?!" Joshua asked, not sure if he should be amused or annoyed.

The horse made a low noise that sounded suspiciously like laughter and took a step towards him, pausing at the edge of the water to stomp its front hoof, splashing Joshua as its pale blue eyes twinkled at him.

Joshua shook water out of his face again and splashed water back at the horse as he said, "You think that's _funny_ , I can tell!"

The horse whickered softly and tossed its head as it pawed the water again, then shifted its weight to lift the other forefoot and paw the air just above the water while watching him closely.

"You know, you seem pretty tame to me," Joshua said, smiling at the horse's obviously playful attitude and reaching slowly towards it.

The palomino snorted and stepped back quickly, shaking its head and laying its ears back as it bared its teeth an made an obviously angry noise.

Joshua quickly pulled his hand back. "Okay, okay! I get it." The horse relaxed slightly at that and Joshua just looked at it a long moment before he said, "I just want to touch you, is that so bad?"

The palomino shook its head and flicked its ears forwards and then back again, pawing at the ground as it lowered its head slightly, watching Joshua with those crystaline blue eyes for a moment before it suddenly whirled and trotted off.

"I didn't mean to make you mad!" Joshua called after him, then let his head fall backwards with a sigh, looking up at the canopy of leaves overhead until he realized how cold the water was. He carefully got to his feet and moved over to the edge of the pool to climb out, then headed back towards the field to go sit in the sun and dry off.

He walked out into the meadow a little ways before he flopped down in the grass, laying back to look up at the sky as he tried to sort through his thoughts. Foremost in his mind was the horse, who seemed much smarter than a horse should be and almost seemed to want his company even though it - _he_ , Joshua thought, the horse was definitely male - didn't want him to touch it.

 _Of course, that's completely reasonable,_ Joshua thought, _I don't want strangers touching me either, strangers often hurt people._

He closed his eyes then, wondering where that thought came from and trying to remember how he got here. He had vague memories of his childhood now so his memory _was_ coming back, but he didn't remember anything after he turned fourteen or so. He was obviously an adult now - the scruffy stubble on his chin sort of gave that away - so he was missing several years of his life, not just how he got on this island, which the boy said was deserted except for the two of them.

Joshua lifted one arm to drape it across his eyes and shut out the sunlight as he let his mind dwell on the boy, wondering how he came to be here alone so young. He looked fifteen or so even though he was as tall as Joshua and probably outweighed him with his muscular build, but those hands that were too big for his wrists reminded Joshua of a puppy that needed to grow into its feet. The more Joshua thought about it, the more he thought the riot of curls might be what made him seem so young though, and the innocent quality about him. He definitely didn't have the body of a boy.

Joshua felt something touch his arm then and he pulled it off his eyes to find himself looking up at the palomino's nose, only inches from his face. "I'm glad you came back," Joshua said softly, smiling as the palomino moved slightly so its muzzle was almost touching the ground by his shoulder, watching Joshua out of one bright blue eye. "I won't try to touch you again, fellah."

The palomino moved its muzzle close to his face and blew out against his cheek, then pulled away about a foot to watch him, keeping its head down and turned slightly to one side so that Joshua could only see one of his eyes.

"You're beautiful," Joshua said softly after a moment, slowly and carefully rolling to his side so he could see the horse better as he remembered something. "When I was little my grandfather had a horse almost the same color as you, but Taffy wasn't nearly as pretty. He was just a little scrub pony, but I thought he was the greatest horse ever because he'd let me ride him and he followed me around."

The horse snorted softly and rubbed its muzzle against one foreleg, then looked at Joshua again, plainly waiting for something.

"What, do you want me to keep talking?" Joshua asked, then laughed out loud when the horse whickered softly, nodding its head. "You're a lot smarter than the horses I remember. They never paid any attention to me when I talked to them, not even old Taffy. Do you really understand me?"

The palomino tossed its head again in reply, then lowered its head and took a mouthful of grass, one bright blue eye still watching Joshua.

"If you understand me, then why won't you let me pet you?" Joshua asked, smiling. "You're not afraid of me, and you seem to want my company. Would letting me touch you be so bad? Taffy loved it when I'd rub his shoulders and the top of his butt where he couldn't reach to scratch."

The horse stopped chewing and looked at him for a long moment, its clear blue eyes narrowing just a bit, then the horse shook itself slightly and continued chewing as it took a step away from Joshua.

"I won't, not unless you want me to," Joshua said quickly. "Don't leave me again please, I hate being alone. I can keep my hands to myself if you want, I promise."

The palomino snorted softly and shook its head, then moved back over to Joshua to nuzzle his cheek before it walked a little bit away and grabbed another mouthful of grass, turning its head to watch him as it chewed.

Joshua rolled to his stomach to fold his arms and rest his chin on them, watching the horse thoughtfully a moment before he finally said, "You're just eating, not leaving, is that what you're trying to tell me?"

The horse tossed its head again and began grazing, watching him out of the corner of its eye while Joshua let his eyes roam over the horse, comparing it to the ones he remembered. It wasn't as tall as he thought at first, rather small really, but it was well-built with long legs in relation to its body and a deep reddish gold color, almost copper, with a thick wavy white mane and tail, a white face, and four high white stockings. Joshua idly wondered if the white face was why the horse had blue eyes, since the only other blue eyed horse he had ever seen had a white face too, a piebald horse his father called Baldy because he said the white marking was called a 'bald' face.

"I wish I knew your name," Joshua said suddenly after a while, making the horse look up in surprise with grass dangling from its mouth again. Joshua grinned and added, "I'm sure the boy will know though, right?"

The palomino tossed its head and started grazing again, moving a little closer to Joshua this time but not by much.

"I wish that boy hadn't run off, I have so many questions for him. How did someone as young as him get stranded on this island alone?" Joshua asked, knowing he wouldn't get a real answer but wanting to talk to the horse anyway.

The horse lifted its head with a sudden snort and stomped its hoof, giving him a dirty look as it pulled itself to its full height and whinnied.

Joshua laughed. "Okay, I get it, he's not alone, you count too."

The horse snorted softly again and then went back to grazing as Joshua said, "What did the boy have to do that would take _all day_ I wonder? It was barely dawn when he ran off, and he said he wouldn't be here until after dark. I hope he was telling the truth about us being alone here." The horse turned its head slightly to look at him as Joshua went on, "He didn't look like the type to lie to me though, he was almost as beautiful as you..." Joshua trailed off, smiling slightly and looking down at the grass in front of him as he thought about the boy, completely missing the surprised look the horse gave him.

 

 

 

Joshua was lounging against a tree in the late afternoon sun sound asleep when the palomino suddenly stopped grazing and walked over to him, lowering its head to nudge his shoulder.

"What is it, fellah?" Joshua asked, sitting up straighter as he opened his eyes, careful not to reach out to touch the horse even though he wanted to now more than ever. Spending the day with the amazing palomino just made him even more certain it was one of a kind, smarter than most people and quite capable of holding a conversation with him even though it couldn't exactly talk.

The horse nuzzled his cheek then, blowing out softly before it turned its head to look towards the sun and then looked back at Joshua.

"It's nearly dark, huh," Joshua said, smiling. "Thanks for waking me up, fellah, I wouldn't want to make the boy think I didn't want to see him."

The horse snorted softly and rolled its eyes at him, making Joshua laugh before it suddenly turned and began to trot away purposefully. Joshua jumped to his feet and started to follow it - the horse had already shown him ripe fruit trees and made it plain what trails Joshua should avoid - but it stopped and laid its ears back at him, shaking its head.

"What, I can't go?" Joshua asked, stopping in surprise and then frowning when the horse tossed its head. "Did I make you mad again? I'm sorry if I did, you know I didn't mean it."

The palomino huffed slightly and turned to trot quickly back over to him, then lowered its head to push its forehead against his chest a long moment before it suddenly pulled away and turned to gallop off into the gathering twilight, disappearing down a path Joshua hadn't been down yet. Joshua just stared after him for a long moment before he turned to head for the waterfall to go get a drink, wondering why the horse was in such a hurry to leave him after getting closer to him than it had all day.

After he got a drink he moved to sit on a rock at the edge of the pool and watch the waterfall in the gathering twilight while he waited for the boy. He was completely lost in thought a little while later when he heard a quiet voice say, "He likes you, y'know."

Joshua turned so quickly he nearly fell off of the rock. "How do you know?" he asked, trying not to stare at the boy even though he wanted to do just that.

The boy shrugged. "I can tell."

"Were you watching us?" Joshua asked after a moment.

The boy laughed and said, "No, I wasn't watching you with him, I promise. He has his ways of telling people things, I'm sure you've figured that out by now."

Joshua nodded, and then asked, "What's your name? Mine is Joshua."

The boy gave him a bright grin and stepped closer, offering him his hand as he said, "Nice to meet you, Joshua. I'm Justin. Back when I had friends, they used to call me Curly."

Joshua smiled and took his hand, using it to pull himself to his feet instead of shaking it. "When I was little my grandfather used to call me Josh, you can too if you want." They stood close together for a moment just smiling at each other before Joshua realized he hadn't let go of Justin's hand and dropped it, blushing as he looked away while Justin kept watching him, his dark blue eyes unreadable.

"Would you like to come with me?" Justin asked after a moment. "I usually go to my cave for the night about now."

Joshua nodded, looking up at him. "I'd like to come with you, yeah. Will the horse be able to find us?"

"You won't see him again until tomorrow," Justin replied, turning to walk quickly along the little creek that flowed from the pool as he added, "You might as well know it now. I've been here for years and never seen another soul, so you're likely stuck here with us. You'll never see me and the horse at the same time. He'll be with you during the day and I'll be in my cave at night. You're welcome to stay there with me but you don't have to."

Joshua stared at Justin's back as he hurried after him. " ** _Years_**?! And why won't I see you together, what do you do all day?"

Justin shrugged. "I had just turned thirteen when I was stranded here, and that was over six years ago." He turned away from the creek then to follow another path that ran slightly uphill, completely ignoring the second question because he simply didn't want to answer it.

Joshua followed him in silence for a few minutes, watching Justin's back, and then finally said, "You're nineteen?"

Justin glanced over his shoulder at him and nodded. "Yeah." He grinned suddenly and added, "And you can quit calling me a boy, I'm not one. I shave and do everything else a man does."

Joshua blushed as it dawned on him what Justin was hinting at, then his eyes went wide. "How did you know I called you a boy?! You said you weren't watching me with the horse!"

Justin stopped in surprise, and then continued down the path even faster. "Huh, well, you're quick. Let's just say he tells me things and leave it at that, okay?"

His tone made it obvious he didn't want to talk about it so Joshua nodded and said, "Sure," even though he _really_ wanted to know how the horse could tell him anything like that. The palomino was the smartest horse Joshua had ever seen, yeah, but it wasn't like the horse could _talk_.

Joshua followed Justin in silence for a long moment before he asked, "Are you in a hurry to get home?"

"No..." Justin said slowly, "Why do you ask?"

Joshua smiled. "Well, the fact you're nearly running down this path made me wonder, that's all."

Justin blushed and slowed down, grateful that the twilight helped hide his face. "Sorry, I usually don't have to worry about someone keeping up with me."

"Don't worry about it," Joshua said immediately, "I run every morning back home." Joshua stopped dead in the path then, his eyes going wide, and when Justin paused to look back at him he added excitedly, "I remember running! I used to run with my lover before he—" Justin's eyebrows went up as Joshua broke off and his face fell, and after a moment Joshua finished softly, "Before he died."

Justin moved towards him, reaching out to put a hand on Joshua's arm as he said softly, "I'm sorry. You must miss him."

Joshua gave Justin a sad look, his eyes shining. "I didn't until I remembered him just then. His name was Chris and I know he died in a hunting accident, but I can't even remember his face." Joshua looked away and took a deep breath, trying not to cry, then suddenly gave Justin a surprised look and said, "You don't seem upset by the fact I had a boyfriend. I've forgotten a lot, but I know that's not acceptable to most people."

Justin snorted and turned to start down the path again, going much slower this time. "Yeah, well, I'm not most people. I have another problem too, but when my father found me with one of the stable boys just after my thirteenth birthday party is when my parents decided I needed to be someplace I couldn't embarrass them again. My uncle owns a sloop and here I am, in the middle of nowhere about a week's sail from New Orleans, which is where I'm from."

"That's _awful_ ," Joshua said softly. "How could anyone do that to their child?"

"Don't ask me," Justin replied with a soft snort. "I don't think about it much. As far as I'm concerned I have no family other than the horse, which is complicated even though it's kind of simple too." Justin turned again then onto another path, this one going even more steeply uphill towards the center of the island. "They didn't abandon me with nothing though, I have to give them that. I've got a pretty nice place up here with crates of candles and stuff they left me that I hardly even bother to use anymore, and there are pigs and even chickens that they turned loose when they dropped me, but I don't bother them much."

Justin stopped then and gestured towards a dim path off to the side as he said, "There's a privvy down that way if you need it. It's not that great but it's better than walking through the jungle at night to find a place to take a crap."

He started walking again then and Joshua was glad the darkness hid his blush as he said, "You've been alone too long."

Justin laughed. "Yeah, you could say that. I've spent years with nobody to talk to but me, so I'll probably talk your ear off."

Joshua shrugged slightly, not bothering to clarify what he'd meant. "I don't mind. It's nice to have someone to talk to, I've been lonely a long time." He made an annoyed noise and then said, "I didn't know that until I said it, but it's true, I _have_ been lonely."

"The horse didn't keep you company?" Justin asked, then suddenly turned to the right and stepped up into nowhere, effectively disappearing.

"Justin?!" Joshua asked, hurrying towards where he'd disappeared. "Where—"

Justin stuck his head back out of his cave then, grinning down at him. "Sorry about that. We're here Josh, come on in." He offered Joshua his hand and said, "Here, hold my hand. It's dark and you can't see the step here but it's almost knee high." Joshua reached up to take his hand as he slowly stepped towards Justin until he could see Justin's foot, then lifted his own to feel for the ledge near it. "There you go," Justin said, "you've got it." Justin waited for Joshua to get his foot firmly on the ledge and then easily lifted him up so that Joshua was suddenly standing very close to him.

Joshua looked into Justin's eyes a moment, wondering why he hadn't stepped back or let go of his hand, then asked softly, "Are we going in?"

Justin seemed to jerk back to himself and he nodded as he answered quickly, "Yeah, sorry, come on."

Justin turned away and started into the pitch black tunnel, tugging Joshua along by his hand as Joshua asked, "How in the world can you see where you're going? I can't even see _you_ , much less where you're taking me."

Justin shrugged - or at least Joshua assumed he did from the way his hand jerked slightly - and then he replied, "I can't see, really, I just know."

"Well at least someone does," Joshua replied wryly.

Justin chuckled, then stopped and said, "Alright, there's a big step down now. Here, I'll help you." Justin stepped forward and down and then suddenly let go of Joshua's hand, and Joshua was just about to ask where he'd gone when he felt two strong hands lightly touch his arms, then slip between them and his sides to close around his waist and lift him up.

Joshua grabbed at Justin's shoulders with a little squeak then and then said, "Justin!" as he was swung easily through the air.

Justin set Joshua down very close to him, grinning, and said, "Yes?"

Joshua swatted at him in the darkness, trying not to think about how close Justin was as he said, "You could have warned me!"

"I did, I told you I was going to help you down." Justin let go of Joshua completely then and stepped away from him to go feel along the top of a nearby crate for a candle and the small box of matches he kept by it as he said, "Just be still a minute and you'll be able to see again."

Joshua bit his lip and stood still, straining his ears and looking towards where he could hear Justin moving faintly, then suddenly there was a flare of light and he saw Justin's silhouette as he blinked, trying to clear the after-image from his eyes while Justin lit the candle. "You have matches?" Joshua asked.

Justin nodded, blinking quickly himself. "Yeah, I still have several boxes of them and a whole crate of candles. I usually don't use them, I just go straight to bed." He gestured towards the back of the cave and added, "Uncle John left me a couple of feather mattresses and a whole bunch of blankets when he dumped me here, but over the years the mattresses have gotten pretty well packed into one. It's really pretty comfortable though, much better than the sand you slept in last night."

"I nearly froze on that beach." Joshua shivered slightly at the memory.

"You won't have to worry about that tonight, Josh," Justin replied with a smile, "I'll keep you warm."

Joshua looked towards the other side of the cave at the piles of crates there, wondering what was in them as he tried not to think about the fact he'd be sharing a bed with Justin. He jumped a moment later when Justin rested a hand on his shoulder, immediately turning his head to look into Justin's concerned eyes as Justin asked, "Are you okay, Josh?" Joshua nodded quickly and then Justin said, "You sure got awful quiet all of a sudden. I can sleep somewhere else if you're sca—"

"No, I'm not putting you out of your bed," Joshua interrupted, then smiled slightly as he added, "And I'm not scared of you Justin. This is just..." he trailed off, blushing, then said weakly, "Well, kind of quick, you know?"

Justin looked confused, then suddenly laughed. "Josh, no, don't worry. I'm not going to do anything to you, okay?"

Joshua blushed even redder and surprised himself by asking, "Why not?"

Justin's eyebrows went up. "Are you saying you _want_ me to do something, Joshua?"

"I--" Joshua broke off, looking away, then said, "You said you liked boys, and you've been alone for _years_ , and I just thought, well..." He trailed off, then asked softly, "Am I not your type or something?"

Justin stepped in front of him, putting both hands on Joshua's shoulders as he said quietly, "Look at me, Josh." Joshua lifted his eyes to meet Justin's, and then Justin went on. "We're probably going to be here alone for a long time. You're beautiful and kind and so sweet and I _definitely_ want you, but I'd rather have you as just a friend than let you do something you'll regret later, okay?"

Joshua looked into Justin’s eyes for a long moment, searching for something behind his own flickering reflection before he asked finally, "What if I think you're beautiful, too? What if I want you and think we could spend whatever time we have here as more than friends?"

"Then I'm doubly glad I found you," Justin replied with a sudden smile, "but I still think we should wait a while, okay?"

Joshua nodded, returning the smile as he said, "But I'm going to hold you to keeping me warm."

Justin grinned at him and gave Joshua’s shoulders a squeeze, then pulled away to walk over by the bed and dig in one of the smallest crates as he said, "If you think I'm going to complain, you're wrong."

Joshua chuckled and followed him, moving to sit on a larger crate near the bed as he said, "You mentioned you shave, so could I borrow your razor?"

"I'm way ahead of you, Josh," Justin replied as he pulled a small leather pouch from the crate. "I only have to shave once a week or so. You've already got a beard that it would take me a month to grow."

Joshua gave him a wry look and rubbed his prickly chin with one hand. "It may _have_ taken me a month to get this scruffy, have no idea."

"I don't think so," Justin said with a grin. "You didn't have nearly as much of a beard this morning as you do now." He stood and moved over to where Joshua was sitting before he said, "There are scissors in here too, if you ever need them. You might want to wait until in the morning to shave though, so you can see to find the creek."

Justin grinned at him and Joshua laughed softly, nodding. "You're right, I should wait until tomorrow."

Justin smiled and moved away towards the crate where he'd left the candle as he said, "I'll put it over by the door so you can find it in the morning. Feel free to look around while I'm gone tomorrow, there's all sorts of things squirreled away in there crates. Blankets, a full sewing kit, a few dishes, several knives, an axe, and lots of other junk I don't bother with anymore." Justin chuckled. "There's mostly clothes in the crates near the foot of the bed - you're pretty skinny but some of my old pants should fit you, they'll be in the bottom crate - and books in the crate farthest back in the corner. Don't worry about using up the candles while you look, I have plenty okay?"

Joshua nodded and watched Justin walked back towards him.  "Okay. A change of clothes would be nice, thanks."

Justin gave him a quick grin, then put the candle and matches on a nearby crate and flopped down on the bed, pulling a light quilt over himself as he said, "I'm pretty beat, so I'm going to bed, but you slept most of the afternoon so you're welcome to look around or whatever."

"I'm tired, too," Joshua replied, then added, "But besides that, I'm cold."

Justin raised an eyebrow at Joshua, grinning, and pulled the quilt back as he said, "I can fix that if you'd like."

"I would," Joshua answered, smiling shyly as he moved towards the low bed and then laid down next to Justin.

Justin leaned across him to blow out the candle, then suddenly Joshua felt soft lips touch his forehead before Justin whispered softly, "Sleep good, Joshua."

Joshua waited for Justin to settle comfortably next to him before he scooted closer to him, curling up against his side with one arm draped across Justin's stomach as he vaguely remembered doing with someone else. "You too, Justin."

Justin slipped an arm around Joshua's shoulders and then they were both still and silent, Joshua trying to keep from thinking about how close Justin was while Justin simply enjoyed it. Justin had been alone so long he had almost forgotten what it was like to have someone touch him, and he wanted to remember every moment.

Joshua spoke suddenly after a little while, sure Justin was still awake as he asked softly, "Will you be here in the morning?"

Justin gave him a gentle squeeze. "No Joshua, I'll be gone before sunrise _every_ day. I'll see you again in the evening though, so don't worry. The horse will keep you company while I'm gone. He'll keep you safe too, okay?"

Joshua nodded against his shoulder, then was silent a long moment before he said quietly, "I hope you can trust me enough to tell me why someday."

Justin closed his eyes in the darkness and Joshua felt him tremble slightly, then Justin turned towards him and wrapped his arms around Joshua as he whispered into his hair, "I do trust you. I'll tell you soon, Josh. I promise."

Joshua hugged him and impulsively kissed Justin's chest before he said softly, "Whenever you're ready, Justin. I can wait."

Justin's arms tightened around him again and Joshua felt the soft brush of lips against his hair, then he closed his eyes and tried to sleep instead of thinking about how right it felt to have Justin hold him.

 

 

 

 

~ ~ 2 ~ ~

 

Joshua was awakened very early the next morning by something gently touching his cheek. He moved into the caress as he slowly opened his eyes to see Justin sitting next to him on the bed, the soft light from a candle making his curls look golden.

Justin had been awake watching Joshua sleep for hours, thanking the higher powers that they had seen fit to bring him someone to ease the utter loneliness he'd lived with for so long. That Joshua accepted the horse so readily and was also what Justin's mother had so disgustedly called a 'pervert' was just icing on an already beautiful cake. After six years alone, it seemed like God – or the gods, or whatever power ran the world – had gifted him with someone to make up for the crushing loneliness.

"G'morning," Joshua said softly, giving Justin a sleepy little smile.

Justin returned the smile, thinking to himself that beautiful really wasn't a strong enough word but unable to think of a better one. "Mornin'. You're beautiful, Joshua. Did you know that?"

Joshua blushed, looking down at where Justin's hand rested on the blanket. "You don't have to say that, Justin."

Justin snorted softly, a familiar sound Joshua didn't really connect with where he had heard it before. "I know I don't _have_ to say it, but it's true. You _are_ beautiful." Justin gently stroked Joshua's cheek with his fingertips again then as he added quietly, "I've never met a man like you, Josh. You're special, I can feel it."

Joshua could feel his face flaming as his blush deepened and he shook his head slightly, still not meeting Justin's eyes. "I'm not. I'm just me, skinny little Joshua Chasez from West Point."

Joshua's eyes widened then as Justin grinned and asked, "Chasez, huh? Isn't that French?"

Joshua looked up at him, obviously surprised, and said softly, "I- I think so."

" _Parlez-vous francais_?" Justin asked hopefully.

" _Oui_ ," Joshua replied, looking shocked. " _Je_!"

" _Je parle francais aussi, mon oncle John est créole_!" Justin replied with a grin, and then he remembered it wasn't long before daylight and went on, "I hate to leave you, Josh, but I have to go. I'll find you tonight, okay? I want to spend some time really talking to you."

Joshua nodded, still half shocked to realize he spoke French, not to mention the fact that he had remembered where he was from. "I'd like to talk to you, too." Joshua smiled shyly as he added softly, "I want to get to know you better."

Justin leaned down suddenly and kissed Joshua's cheek, then gave him a sweet smile. "Same here, Josh. I can't think of anything I'd rather do than be with you." He stood quickly and started for the tunnel leading outside as he added, "See you tonight."

"See you then," Joshua replied quietly, his mind humming with a hundred thoughts as he watched Justin hop up into the raised tunnel and disappear.

Joshua rolled to his back after a long moment, looking up at the ceiling of the cave in the flickering candlelight as he tried to sort through all the thoughts rattling around in his head. He remembered that he had lived in West Point now, and that he had shared a rambling old house with his boyfriend Chris and two others, Joseph and James. James was a Captain in the US Cavalry and a horsemanship instructor at the Academy, and Chris, Joseph, and Joshua were all civilian teachers. Joshua had taught French, Literature, and Composition - all classes that weren't deemed truly important by the military members of the staff - while Joseph taught engineering and Chris taught philosophy and the history of warfare.

Joshua remembered Chris' face now too, a face he'd awakened to almost every morning from the day he was eighteen until Chris was killed in that stupid accident while they were hunting with James and several of his students just a few days after their sixth Christmas together. Joshua didn't even notice the silent tears that leaked from his eyes as he thought about Chris, the warm brown eyes that had always held kindness and love when they looked at Joshua, the unquenchable spirit that allowed Chris to make something of himself even though he was an orphan, the fierce protectiveness Chris had for his friends, the way Chris had cherished Joshua, treating him like he was made of spun glass...

Joshua finally realized he was crying then and wiped his eyes with the edge of the blanket, swallowing a sob as he sat up and pushed away the memories of his past. Just the day before he'd wanted desperately to remember, but he wasn't sure he wanted to anymore. It hurt too much.

Joshua stood quickly then and headed outside, and he was on his way back from the privy a little while later when he heard a sudden nicker and looked up to see the horse standing in the early morning sunlight near the mouth of the cave. Joshua smiled and quickened his pace towards him slightly. "Good morning, fellah. Did you have a good night?"

The palomino tossed its head and watched Joshua make his way up the hill until he stopped a few feet away, not wanting to push the horse into moving away from him. It stepped closer to Joshua immediately though, reaching out to nuzzle Joshua's cheek before it pulled its head away and whickered softly at him, its blue eyes looking somehow concerned.

Joshua gave the horse a reassuring smile. "I'm fine, don't worry."

The horse snorted and shook its head, then gently nudged Joshua's cheek again and stomped its foot.

Joshua couldn't help but laugh. "I am fellah, I promise. I remembered someone and it made me sad, that's all."

The horse's eyes softened then and it stepped closer again, this time laying its head over Joshua's shoulder and pulling him closer with its chin in what could only be meant for a hug.

"Can— Can I touch you? Please?" Joshua asked softly, suddenly on the edge of tears again.

The horse nodded slightly and then shivered as Joshua's arms went around its neck before he buried his face in its mane, crying. The palomino closed its eyes, wanting to help but somehow sure it couldn't, so it just stood still and let Joshua cry.

"Thank you," Joshua said softly a little while later as he absently rubbed his cheek against the horse's mane. "I needed that."

The horse lowered its head slightly, pulling its chin - and Joshua - closer to its chest as it whickered softly, sounding somehow sad to Joshua.

Joshua pulled away enough to look at the nearest blue eye then, not bothering to dry the tears on his cheeks as he stroked the palomino's shoulder and said softly, "I'll be okay, fellah, don't worry. Getting my memory back just isn't quite as good a thing as I thought it would be, that's all."

The palomino turned his head enough to nudge his shoulder, then grabbed his shirt and tugged gently at it before he looked expectantly at Joshua, trying to give him something else to think about.

"What about my shirt, fellah? I don't understand," Josh said after a moment, confused. "Do you want me to come with you somewhere?"

The horse shook his head, then reached over to grab the lower edge of Joshua's shirt in its teeth and pull it upwards before it let go and looked pointedly at the cave.

Joshua thought about that a moment and then suddenly smiled. "Are you trying to tell me there are clothes in the cave?" The horse tossed its head and then turned to gently push Joshua towards the entrance, making Joshua laugh as he said, "What, do I smell or something?"

The horse stopped pushing him and nodded its head again, its blue eyes twinkling as it made the noises Joshua had already come to associate with laughter.

Joshua grinned and jumped up on the ledge. "I'd have to agree with you actually, I _could_ use a bath. I'll be back soon, okay?"

The horse whickered softly and looked towards the trail that led further up the hill - mountain? - and then looked back at Joshua.

"You'll be up there?" Joshua asked, and when the horse tossed its head he smiled. "Okay, I'll come find you when I get ready to go."

The horse stepped closer to the ledge and lipped at his ankle, making Joshua jerk his foot back as the horse made the laughing noise and trotted up the path and around the corner out of sight.

Joshua chuckled softly and walked back into the cave, thinking that if he had to be stuck on a deserted island there weren't many who would have been better company than Justin and the palomino were. They both seemed to genuinely care about him and were happy to have his company, something he hadn't run into very often over the last year, when he'd seen almost no one but Chris, Joseph, and James.

He frowned at that thought, wondering why. He vaguely remembered life at West Point as being happy, but if he'd been isolated his last year there then it couldn't have been that way always, especially since he knew quite well that he hated being alone. He began moving the crates near the foot of the bed to get to the bottom one as he pondered how he could have stayed isolated if he was a teacher. It made no sense.

Joshua gave up worrying about it after a moment - the way his morning was going he probably didn't want to know - and opened the crate Justin had said held his old clothes to begin going through them for something that would fit him. He was surprised to find a knapsack in top of the crate but he thought it would be useful so he sat it aside and began going through the clothes, unfolding each piece to check it for size before he folded it neatly again and set it aside.

He hadn't dug into the crate very far before he found several plain cotton shirts that looked to be new and would easily fit him, so he sat them aside. He quickly took the rest of the shirts out of the crate then without bothering to check them for size - he was just going to put them back anyway - to find folded trousers beneath them which made him chuckle and shake his head wryly. Justin had been going without a shirt for quite some time if the condition of his old clothes was any indication; the shirts looked to be new but the trousers were all cut off short and obviously worn.

Joshua continued looking through the trousers until he found a few pairs that looked like they might fit him, then set them aside and began putting the rest of the clothes back. He paused when he'd put up all of the ones he wouldn't be wearing and looked consideringly at the pants and shirts he'd found that would fit him, trying to decide where to keep them. He made a decision after a moment and put all but one change of clothing back in the top of the crate, thinking he could find them when he needed them and they would be out of Justin's way there.

He quickly put the crates back the way he'd found them and then put the clothes he intended to change into today in the knapsack and carried it, the candle and the matches towards the crate by the door. He put the candle and the box of matches down and then paused long enough to put Justin's shaving kit in the bag before he shrugged into the knapsack and blew out the candle. He carefully climbed into the tunnel leading outside, grateful it faced east so he had some light to go by, and soon he was on the path headed up the hill, looking for the horse.

Joshua had only been walking for a few minutes when he rounded a corner in the path and found himself at the foot of a rather steep rocky area that held quite a few clumps of knee-high grass. The palomino, who had evidently heard him coming, was already making its way down over the rocks towards him. Joshua bit his lip when the horse stepped on a rock that shifted and made it have to quickly sidestep and then watched, wide-eyed and barely breathing, as the horse jumped easily over another boulder and a small gully. Joshua flinched a moment later when the palomino slid on a patch of shale and almost went to its knees, a sudden memory of finding a bay horse standing unsteadily near Chris' body bringing tears to his eyes. " _Please_ be careful, fellah," Joshua called to the horse, "don't try to hurry."

Joshua had been the first one who noticed Chris had dropped out of the hunt that day and he had asked Forsythe - the young man Chris was supposed to be riding herd on that day - when he'd last seen him. Forsythe told Joshua that Chris had told him to stay with the group and then taken a short cut along a creekbed, and Joshua had immediately turned back to look for him, fully intending to lecture Chris about haring off alone again. He'd done it over and over again and often wound up lost or afoot for his trouble, and Joshua had asked him to stay with the group that day because there were several new boys with them and Joshua, James, and Joseph couldn't keep an eye on them all alone.

Joshua knew exactly where the short cut Forsythe mentioned was and he had ridden back towards it at a canter, turning his own mount off of the trail and jumping down the bank into the dry creek before settling into a steady trot. He remembered grumbling to himself about how foolish Chris was to take the trail on a borrowed horse as he rounded a bend in a dry creekbed, when he had looked up and jerked his horse to a halt, staring at a bay horse standing a short distance away on three legs with Chris' body laying at its feet.

Joshua bit his lip then and blinked rapidly, doing his best to concentrate on _now_ and push the memory away as he lifted one hand to wipe away his tears. He looked towards the horse again then and watched the palomino carefully pick his way to the bottom of the hill without another misstep, pausing at the bottom to nudge Joshua back towards the path.

Joshua gave him a smile that was obviously a little forced and then turned to walk down the path, completely unsurprised that the horse fell into step next to him. "You're a lot like Justin, you know," Joshua said after a moment, giving the surprised horse a more genuine smile as he added, "He's always in a hurry, too."

The palomino snorted softly and kept walking until they had almost reached the entrance to the cave, then suddenly stopped, making Joshua stop to and look at him.

"What?" Joshua asked.

The horse nudged his shoulder, then turned its head to look pointedly at the opening to the cave before it looked back at Joshua.

"Yeah, I'm done inside, fellah," Joshua replied with a smile. "I _told_ you I'd come find you when I was done."

The horse snorted and rolled its eyes, then moved to put Joshua between him and the cave, giving him a gentle shove towards it.

"You want me to go back inside?" Joshua asked, surprised. "Is there something in there you want?"

The horse nodded, then shook its head, then snorted and shoved him again.

Joshua laughed and started towards the cave. "Okay, I get it, just _go_ , right?"

The horse tossed its head and watched him jump up into the mouth of the tunnel, and then when Joshua started to follow the tunnel it whinnied softly at him.

Joshua moved back out to the edge of the ledge, resting his hands on his hips as he said exasperatedly, "I wish you would make up your mind! Am I supposed to go in or come out?"

The palomino walked over to the ledge and moved to present its side to Joshua, looking at him over its shoulder as it made the low 'nuh-huh-huh' noise Joshua had come to associate with laughter.

"I'm lost, fellah," Joshua said after a moment, giving the horse a fondly exasperated look. "You don't want me to go in, right?" The horse tossed its head so Joshua asked, "Then _why_ are you blocking the door so I can't get out?"

The horse snorted and reached its head around to point its muzzle at its own back and then gave Joshua an expectant look.

Joshua's eyes widened after a moment as he suddenly realized what the horse was trying to say. "You want me to ride you?!"

The palomino tossed its head vigorously, then pawed the ground impatiently and looked at him again, obviously waiting.

"You don't have to do that, fellah, I don't mind walking, really." Joshua didn't quite feel like he should ride the horse. Besides the fact he now remembered that he hadn't ridden since the day Chris died, the palomino had also made it obvious the day before that it didn't really want to be touched. Even though it had acted very differently this morning, Joshua still didn't think the horse really wanted this.

The horse turned its head to point its muzzle at its back again and then stomped one front foot and neighed at him, obviously wanting him to do as he'd been told.

Joshua bit his lip thoughtfully a moment then sighed and stepped closer. "Alright, but if I think you're getting tired I'm going to get off again." The horse snorted derisively at that and stood still as Joshua carefully stepped off the ledge and onto his back, wrapping his legs around the horse's barrel as he grabbed a handful of mane and said, "You can go now, fellah. I know how to do this."

The horse started off at a slow walk, surprised at how little Joshua weighed, then he tossed his head and sped up gradually until he was cantering down the path.

Joshua leaned forward over the palomino’s withers, careful to keep himself centered so he wouldn't throw the horse off balance on the slope. He held on to the horse's mane more to have someplace to put his hands than anything else as they moved quickly down the path, leaning down as they entered the edge of the jungle to avoid the greenery.

The joy Joshua got from riding succeeded in pushing away the bad memories as very little else could have, and after a few minutes Joshua realized he was grinning. He had literally forgotten how much he loved riding and he was suddenly very glad the palomino had insisted on it. It had been much too long since he felt the sense of freedom and exhilaration he'd always gotten from riding.

The horse veered to the right down a path Joshua hadn't been down yet then and he looked eagerly ahead between the horse's ears, wondering where they were going until they emerged from the trees at the edge of the beach. Joshua sat up straighter as the horse slowed, trotting through the deep sand of the dunes and then down over the harder packed sand until it reached the high water line and turned to the right again, flicking one ear back and trotting slowly along the damp sand as it whickered questioningly at him.

"Whatever it is, go ahead," Joshua replied, absently stroking the horse's neck. "I'm not afraid of a little run if that's what you were asking."

The horse tossed its head and Joshua laughed, then leaned forward as he squeezed the horse's sides with his legs, wordlessly urging him to speed up. The horse whinnied and then leaped forward, stretching out into a gallop immediately.

Joshua grinned and leaned down along the side of its neck away from its mane, enjoying the wind in his face as the palomino's muscles rippled under his thighs, carrying them both down the beach at a faster pace than Joshua really had expected. The palomino might not be a sixteen hand powerhouse - he was closer to fourteen hands, really, which was small for a horse, almost a pony - but he was faster than anything Joshua had ridden before and he obviously loved to run.

Joshua let him go for what he thought was about a mile before he decided they had galloped far enough and sat up, shifting his weight back and grinning when the palomino flicked its ears at him and lost its stride, slowing down and blowing slightly as it turned its head just enough to look at him.

"You proved your point," Joshua said with a grin, "now you can slow down for a bit."

The palomino slowed to a walk then, and when Joshua impulsively leaned down and hugged its neck a moment later it was so surprised that it stopped.

"Thank you, fellah," Joshua said softly, "I **_love_** to ride. That was the best gallop I've had in years."

The horse snorted and shook it's head slightly, clearly not quite believing him.

"No, really," Joshua said, still laying along the horse's neck. "We couldn't afford to keep a horse in town so I haven't ridden anything but my father's hunters or one of James' cavalry horses in years. They were bigger than you are but not nearly as smooth a ride, and not as fast either. They usually only have to outrun a dog, after all."

The palomino made the sounds Joshua interpreted as laughter then, nodding its head to show it understood and agreed as it began walking along the beach again.

Joshua smiled and sat up straight then, letting his legs hang loosely along the sides of the palomino's barrel as he said, "You're still breathing a little hard. You want me to walk a while?"

The horse snorted and pranced a bit, shaking its head and flagging its tail as Joshua laughed.

"I get it, you're still feeling good," Joshua said with a big grin, patting the side of the horse's neck. "We've come a little over a mile I think, so--" Joshua broke off when the horse shook his head and then asked, "More?"

The palomino tossed his head and broke into a slow jog as Joshua thought about how fast the palomino had been running.

"Okay," Joshua conceeded after a moment, "but we haven't gone more than two miles, I'm sure." The horse didn't argue that so Joshua went on. "This island isn't as small as I thought at first, since we haven't come to that rocky bit of shoreline yet. How many miles of beach are there, do you think?"

The horse considered it, then stopped and pawed the ground six times before he started off again at the same easy jog.

"Really?" Joshua asked, surprised, and the horse nodded it's head and whinnied softly. "Wow. So there's a lot of land here. Well, exploring will give me something to do while Justin is off doing whatever it is he does every day and you're grazing."

The horse slowed to a walk again and shook its head, looking back over its shoulder at Joshua.

"Are you trying to say I'm not supposed to explore?" Joshua asked, looking a little surprised.

The horse shook it's head again and veered up the beach towards the jungle as Joshua tried to think of whatever it was he said that the horse didn't agree with.

"Is it that I'm not supposed to explore alone?" Joshua asked finally, ducking as the palomino started down a fairly beaten path through the jungle that it had obviously used many times before, and at a gallop too judging by the depth of the old tracks.

The palomino nodded its head and broke into a steady canter, making Joshua tighten his legs around its sides instinctively.

"But it's not fair for you to have to come with me, you already know where everything is!" Joshua replied with a sudden bemused smile. "You need time to graze and relax anyway. Horses need a lot of time to graze if they aren't getting grain."

The horse snorted, then shook its head.

"So you're saying wherever I go, you go?" Joshua asked, completely unsurprised this time when the horse nodded. "Justin said you'd take care of me, fellah, but I'm not a baby, I can take care of myself."

The palomino nodded again and whinnied softly.

Joshua's brow furrowed in confusion as he asked, "If you're not staying with me to keep me out of trouble, then why?"

The horse stopped suddenly and turned its head to look at him then, obviously trying to tell him something.

"I don't understand, fellah," Joshua said with a sigh. "Are you staying with me because Justin wants you to?"

The horse was still a second or two, then shook its head.

"Are you staying with me because I told you I don't like being alone?"

The horse looked a little more uncertain at that and paused longer, then shook its head again.

"Are you staying with me because _you_ want to?" Joshua asked after thinking another minute, looking surprised.

The horse nodded vigorously and started off again, walking a half a dozen strides before it broke into a canter while Joshua sat quietly on his back, occasionally ducking a vine or tree branch as he thought about their conversation.

It _was_ a conversation, and even though the horse couldn't quite talk to him Joshua had learned a lot more from the horse than he would ever have thought possible. He had been around horses from the time he was a little boy in France -- he remembered that now -- and he was quite convinced that this palomino was no ordinary horse. Joshua suddenly remembered hearing his grandfather talk about the horses he seen in Africa then and wondered if maybe the palomino was an Arabian. Grandfather had made them sound like the ultimate horse, one that could thrive where any other horse would starve. He had told Joshua that an Arabian was faster, smarter and more beautiful than any other breed, though they were usually small, which all fit the palomino perfectly.

Joshua had spent many an afternoon as a boy with his grandfather, riding and listening to stories about horses the old man had seen or owned in his lifetime, and had always been fascinated by the stories about Arabians. Grandfather had often said that Arabians shone in the sun like precious gems and slept in their masters' tent, protecting them as they slept, and then by day would carry men great distances over the desert, often fighting beside them. He recalled Grandpa telling him once that one medium-quality desert stallion was considered by those who knew them to be worth a dozen of the very best Thoroughbreds, but that the stallions were almost never allowed to leave the desert intact because their bloodlines were considered too sacred to be passed on among the horse herds of the infidels.

Joshua looked down at the golden ears of the horse he was riding, smiling, then looked ahead of them to watch for branches again as he followed his train of thought. If the palomino wasn't an Arabian -- and what his grandfather had told him led him to think he wasn't, since any Arabian stallion somehow taken from the desert wouldn't be left abandoned on an island -- he was definitely every bit as good as one. Joshua had been around a lot of horses in his life, several famous race horses even, and none of them had even remotely compared to this little palomino stallion. He was constantly amazed at its almost human sense of humor, its memory and its very obvious intelligence.

Joshua looked down at the horse's ears again then as he remembered the short time Justin and the horse had both been out of his sight the night before, and all the horse had 'told' Justin, and he wondered anew how the palomino had told Justin some of it. Justin had repeated a few things Joshua had said word for word and there really was no way the horse could have told him unless it did just that and **_told_** him. Joshua stifled a chuckle at his own folly, thinking that a talking horse was about as likely as a fish with wings. Besides, if the horse could talk, Joshua thought it would have said something to him by now, it had acted several times like it had more to say to him than it could.

Joshua was distracted from his thoughts then as the palomino cantered into a long narrow meadow similar to the one they had spent the day in yesterday, only larger with more trees, much taller grass, and a good sized creek running through the middle of it. Joshua was glad to see that several of the trees were fruit trees and was about to ask the horse to stop so he could pick some when they rounded a rather odd looking clump of trees and he saw a waterfall in the distance.

The palomino slowed to a trot then to splash through the creek before it moved into to an easy canter again, continuing on until it reached the edge of the large pool below the waterfall, where it stopped and looked over its shoulder at Joshua.

"Is seeing the waterfall why we came this way?" Joshua asked. "It's beautiful."

The palomino shook its head and then nodded, then reached its head around to grab the leg of his pants and pull gently on it.

"Is that a hint I'm supposed to get off now?" Joshua asked with a grin.

The horse tossed its head again and Joshua immediately scooted back and then swung one leg over its neck, then slid down its shoulder.

"Now what?" Joshua asked the horse, absently rubbing its withers as he waited for a reply.

The palomino leaned into his touch for a moment, then suddenly turned to grab the knapsack Joshua was wearing, tugging at it.

Joshua slipped his arms out of the straps and watched bemusedly as the horse carried the bag over to a tree and dropped it at the base, then walked back over to him to nudge him towards the water.

Joshua laughed and asked, "I'm supposed to take my bath here, is that it?" The horse nodded and pushed him towards the water again as Joshua said, "Wait a minute, people normally take their clothes off before they take a bath."

The horse snorted and shoved him, sending Joshua staggering out into the edge of the pool as it followed him, its blue eyes bright with mischief.

Joshua gave the palomino a wry look and then turned to wade out into the water. "Well, my clothes need washed anyway. I guess I might as well humor you."

The horse tossed its head and then nickered softly as it walked out into the water, passing Joshua and wading out until it could swim.

Joshua chuckled and shook his head, watching the horse swim towards the waterfall for a moment before he started wading towards a cluster of rocks, taking his shirt off as he moved. He was surprised to find that the water there was chest deep but it didn't really bother him as he laid his now-soaked shirt on the nearest rock, then carefully leaned against it so he wouldn't lose his balance in the water as he took off his pants. He turned away from the rocks and looked around to see that the horse was standing on the far side of the pool watching him from the bank, and he grinned.

Joshua pushed off from the rock then, ducking underwater and swimming for about fifty feet before he surfaced and started swimming slowly towards the waterfall, admiring how beautiful it was. He was completely oblivious to the horse, whose gaze tracked his every move as it stood silently, also admiring something beautiful, but not quite so innocently as Joshua was.

The horse whirled and walked away suddenly a little while later, moving away a few hundred feet to graze as it tried not to dwell on what it was leaving behind.

Joshua floated on his back in the pool for another ten minutes or so, half dozing in the sun as he relaxed and let the slow current carry him back towards the shore, his mind drifting. Joshua was beginning to think that being shipwrecked - at least he assumed he was shipwrecked, he still hadn't remembered – wasn't really all that bad. He was safe with an amazing horse to spend his days with, a beautiful island to explore, and a simply gorgeous young man who wanted to keep him company at night and who was sweet and considerate, and just happened to prefer men too. It was all like something from a fairy tale, except for the simple fact no fairy tale Joshua had ever heard involved men who preferred other men.

Joshua smiled and flipped over to swim towards the rocks where he had left his clothes then, counting his blessings and purposefully not thinking about anything but right now. His past was just that, the past, and if he didn't think about it, maybe it wouldn't hurt him.

He could be happy here, he was sure of it.

 

 

 

~ ~ 3 ~ ~

 

Joshua grabbed his clothes and waded towards more shallow water to rinse them out as best he could before he draped the pants over a rock near the edge of the water and wrapped the shirt around his waist -- the palomino was a horse, yes, but he obviously told Justin everything and had already seen plenty -- before leaving the water to walk towards the knapsack. He picked it up a moment later and was headed into the nearby bushes to get dressed when the horse nickered at him.

Joshua paused at the edge of a clump of palmetto and called, "What is it, fellah?"

The palomino trotted over to him and then looked at the palmetto and shook its head, then looked at Joshua expectantly.

"I'm not supposed to go in there?" Joshua asked, surprised.

The horse nodded, then walked away from the palmetto bushes to point with its muzzle at a different kind of bush that Joshua recognized after a moment as a much taller wild version of the azaleas that grew on his family's plantation.

Joshua followed the horse over to the other bushes, moving to stand next to him and reaching out to pat its shoulder. "Okay. Those other things aren't safe to walk through but azaleas are. I'll remember fellah."

The horse tossed its head and then turned to nuzzle Joshua's bare stomach, its long whiskers fluttering over smooth skin.

Joshua laughed, squirming away as he said, "Quit! Your whiskers tickle."

The palomino looked surprised, then stepped towards Joshua to do it again, this time blowing across his stomach and purposefully wiggling his upper lip.

Joshua giggled and backed up, holding out his free hand to keep the horse back as he said, "Stop that! Go graze or something, okay?"

The horse snorted and then shook its head and stepped towards him again, its blue eyes sparkling with mischief.

Joshua laughed again and dodged, ducking around the horse. "I'm serious! Go eat or I'll find all of _your_ ticklish spots, I swear!"

The palomino perked its ears up at him and started after him again, obviously liking that idea, and Joshua shook his finger at him.

"Don't you dare!" Joshua said, unable to help a grin. "You _behave_ yourself! I'll give you a rubdown after I get some clothes on and find something to eat, how's that sound?"

The horse paused, obviously considering it, then decided that sounded like it'd be nice and tossed his head as he nickered softly.

Joshua chuckled and shifted the knapsack slightly, hoping it was at least marginally waterproof since he'd been holding it against his wet shirt since he started talking to the horse. "So go on then," Joshua said, gesturing towards the field again, "I'll be back soon, I promise."

Joshua watched the horse turn and walk away to begin grazing again before he turned and walked into the bushes, trying to avoid hitting the blooms even though it wasn't like anyone would care if he knocked a few off. He ducked past an overhanging branch heavy with pink blossoms after a moment and found himself in a small shady hollow in between several bushes that he immediately decided was far enough from the meadow. He changed into his borrowed clothes then, completely unsurprised that the shirt was huge on him, and he was stepping into the cutoff pants and thinking about how much he enjoyed the fragrant azaleas when he suddenly recalled a summer afternoon he'd spent with Chris at Joshua's family home in northern Georgia.

Joshua pulled up his pants and then paused, staring at a cluster of blossoms a few feet away with a soft smile and remembering that happy day not quite a year after they met when so many simple things he had later taken for granted were still new and exciting. They had wasted half the day kissing, touching and talking among the azaleas Joshua's stepmother had planted down by the river, hiding from Joshua's family who had desperately wanted to know why Joshua brought Chris home with him for the summer. That was the day Chris had given Joshua the ring he had worn every day until several months after Chris' death nearly five years later, when Joshua was robbed by a footpad and it was taken along with his grandfather's pocket watch and all the money he'd had at the time.

Joshua sighed and buttoned his pants, pushing away the memories – it seemed like every one he'd had today had turned bad somehow – and concentrating on right now as he tried to decide if the pants were too tight to wear even for the day. He could button them, but after bending and stretching carefully a few times he was sure if he bent over too quickly he'd risk splitting them, and he seriously doubted he could ride in them either. He picked up the knapsack and slung it over his shoulder, then grabbed his still-damp shirt off the branch he'd laid it on and walked quickly back out into the sunlight to go lay his shirt on a rock to dry while he shaved and ate some breakfast.

 

 

 

Joshua stood near the tree where the horse had dropped his knapsack earlier, rubbing the horse's hide with a smile as it dozed in the sunshine under his hands. He'd been working on the horse for almost two hours, rubbing and brushing it with handfuls of tightly twisted dried grass like he'd done with Taffy many times as a child, and he'd enjoyed it immensely, his mind occupied with nothing but making sure the horse enjoyed it. Joshua hadn't spoken in a quite a while, instead letting the horse sleep while his hands roamed slowly over its body, massaging sleek muscles and learning where it most enjoyed the scratching and where it was a bit ticklish.

He had noticed several scars while he groomed the horse, mostly on its legs, but there was one in particular that drew Joshua's attention. He thought he had seen scars of every sort on horses, from the marks left by poorly fitting tack to spur tracks and scars caused by just plain stupidity – his father's favorite broodmare in particular liked to bull through anything that got in her way and looked almost spotted because she had so many scars on her chest and legs – but he had never seen anything like this before. It was an almost perfect triangle of hairless skin just above the knee joint on the inside of the palomino's right foreleg, and Joshua couldn't for the life of him think of a way the horse could have done it.

Joshua finally pushed it from his mind as he rubbed down the horse's left hind leg, thinking that it really didn't matter. The horse hadn't reacted at all to Joshua's fingers stroking across the scar when he was checking his legs for injuries from the scramble over the rocks that morning, so it obviously didn't bother him. He stepped back a few minutes later when he finally finished, looking the horse over with a soft smile as it turned its head to look at him, obviously half asleep, and watched him a moment before it nickered softly.

Joshua grinned at the palomino and tossed aside the twist of grass. "I'm done, fellah, unless you want to let me pick out your feet, too."

The horse snorted softly and lifted one forefoot, bending the leg almost double to show Joshua that its feet didn't need picked out, then he put it back down and yawned, blinking owlishly as Joshua chuckled.

"You can go back to sleep if you want, fellah, I know I intend to as soon as I change pants." Joshua turned and walked over to the rocks at the edge of the water to pick up his now-dry clothes and bring them back to where his knapsack laid in the grass at the horse's feet, bending carefully to pick it up.

The horse watched him put his shirt in the bag, obviously confused, and when Joshua slung the knapsack over his shoulder without putting his pants away the horse tugged at them.

"What," Joshua asked, smiling. "Are you wondering why I'm changing back into these?"

The palomino nodded.

"Well," Joshua replied, "when I was going through Justin's things this morning to find a pair of pants I could wear, I misjudged what size I'd need. You can't see how tight these are because this shirt hangs down so far but I can barely bend over in them, and if I tried to get on your back I'd split them for sure."

The palomino looked interested at that and reached over to tug at the shirt.

Joshua laughed. "What, you don't believe me?"

The horse nodded again, his blue eyes twinkling, then tugged at his shirt again.

"Forget it, fellah," Joshua said then, chuckling. "I'm going to go change and then find myself a nice shady spot to take a nap while you graze."

The horse snorted and shook his head, then closed his eyes for a moment before he opened them and touched Joshua's arm with his nose, then looked expectantly at him waiting to see if he'd interpret it right.

"You're taking a nap with me?" Joshua asked, smiling when the horse nodded. "Sounds good to me, a nap never hurt anyone as far as I'm concerned."

The palomino made the low noise Joshua interpreted as laughter, nodding to show he agreed.

Joshua grinned and patted the horse's neck. "I'll be right back, fellah." He turned and walked quickly towards the azaleas, disappearing into them as the horse looked around for a shady place to take a nap.

Joshua walked back out of the bushes a few minutes later and looked around for the horse for a moment before he spotted him about a hundred and fifty feet away, standing under what looked to be some type of oak tree and obviously waiting for him. Joshua walked over to join the horse, stopping in front of it as he smiled and said, "This looks like a good shade tree."

The horse nodded and then took a step towards Josh, reaching for the knapsack and pulling it off his shoulder, and Joshua grinned as he watched the palomino carry it over to drop it at the base of the tree before it moved a few feet away and bent its forelegs.

"You're going to lay down, too?" Joshua asked, obviously surprised as the horse did just that.

The horse nodded, then touched the ground near its shoulder and looked expectantly at him.

Joshua chuckled and then walked closer as he asked, "Am I supposed to sleep there?"

The horse nodded again and then watched as Joshua sat down before it nuzzled him affectionately.

Joshua smiled and stroked the horse's cheek as he asked quietly, "Do you mind if I lean against you?"

The horse shook its head slightly, not wanting to make him stop touching it but wanting to answer too.

"Good," Joshua replied, then scooted closer to the horse before he leaned against it, laying his cheek against its shoulder and closing his eyes with a little smile, absently stroking the horse for a moment before he was still.

The palomino watched him for a long moment before it finally rested its chin on Joshua's knee and closed its eyes, expecting not to be able to sleep again but instead drifting off almost immediately.

 

 

 

Joshua woke up slowly late that afternoon to find he was curled up on his side with his back against the horse's shoulder, surprised he'd slept so long and wondering what had awakened him until the horse gently nudged him again. He sat up slowly then, stretching as he turned to smile sleepily at the horse. "Sleep good?"

The horse nodded, then looked expectantly at him.

Joshua nodded, smiling as he said, "Yeah, me too. You make a really good pillow."

The horse snorted softly, then threw its muzzle up slightly.

"You're ready to get up?" Joshua asked, waiting for the palomino to nod before he chuckled and said, "Me too, I need to go for a walk."

The horse nodded again and made the noise Joshua associated with laughter as Joshua stood up and stepped away from the horse so it could get up, then he stretched again as he watched the palomino lunge to its feet and then shake itself vigorously.

"If I did that, I'd be _so_ dizzy," Joshua said then, chuckling as he walked over to pick up the knapsack so he wouldn't forget it.

The horse snorted softly and watched him pick up the bag, then stepped closer and nuzzled his cheek gently before he turned and headed off down the meadow as Joshua headed towards the edge of the jungle, disappearing quickly into the thick greenery.

Five minutes later Joshua was walking down the field in the direction the horse had gone while munching on a slightly green banana – he had discovered they were good like that - when the horse trotted around that clump of odd looking trees, nickering immediately when it spotted him.

Joshua smiled and swallowed then asked, "What, did you miss me?" The palomino tossed its head as it stopped in front of him, making Joshua grin as he said, "You'll live."

The horse ignored that, looking hopefully at the banana instead.

Joshua chuckled and pulled the peel off, then offered the horse the fruit as he said, "You can have it, I put more in the bag." Joshua watched the palomino eat as he added, "You're going to be so spoiled, I can see it coming. Next you'll want me to peel those little orange things for you too."

The horse looked surprised, chewing thoughtfully a moment before it nodded.

Joshua laughed. "Sounds good to you, huh?"

The horse nodded again, this time making the noises that passed for laughter, then turned its head to point its nose at its back before it looked expectantly at Joshua.

"We're going for another ride?" Joshua asked, looking towards the sun in surprise before he looked back at the horse and said, "Justin said you'd never be around after sunset, so isn't it about time for you to disappear on me?"

The horse nodded, then pointed to its back again.

Joshua shrugged, walking to the horse's shoulder. "You're the boss." He easily jumped up to swing one leg over the horse's back, getting settled as he added, "Okay, let's go, wherever it is you wanna go."

The horse tossed its head and started off at a slow canter, heading back towards the waterfall, this time on the opposite side of the creek than they had gone down before, then it turned to the left and started down a narrow, steep path where Joshua had to lean close to its neck to avoid overhanging branches and vines. Joshua was just about to ask how much farther it was when the horse came out onto a wider path and turned left, speeding up as he headed up a gentle incline that Joshua soon recognized as being the far end of the path leading up to the cave.

"I never would have guessed we were so close to home," Joshua said, bemused. The horse stopped outside the cave and then Joshua slid off its back before he asked, "Is the waterfall fed by a spring that's up here?"

The palomino tossed his head, and then gently nudged Joshua towards the cave.

Joshua smiled and stepped closer to the horse instead, stroking the horse's face. "Good night, fellah. See you in the morning."

The horse nuzzled Joshua's cheek briefly and then pushed him a bit more firmly towards the cave before it turned and trotted down the hill.

Joshua only watched for a moment before he turned and climbed up into the mouth of the tunnel, hoping to light a candle before it got too dark for him to see. He soon had the candle lit but it was burned most of the way down so he began checking crates to see which one held the others, figuring that would keep him busy until Justin showed up. The horse would tell Justin where he was, he was sure, even if he had no idea _how_ he would tell him.

 

 

 

 

~ ~ 4 ~ ~

 

Joshua found an empty candleholder in the top of the crate nearest the door almost immediately but it took him a few minutes to find the candles themselves. They were in one of the crates closest to the bed, which just made sense once he'd found them, but he had to open half a dozen other crates before he thought to look there. He carried the fresh candle and the tin holder over to the nearly burned down candle and poured a bit of the hot wax out of it into the candleholder, then held the fresh candle into the hot wax until it had hardened enough to hold it.

He lit the new candle and set it down on the crate by the door before he turned to look around the room, absently wrapping his arms around himself as he wondered how Justin had lived here so long without using more of the things he had brought with him. From what he had seen in the crates it seemed like all Justin ever used was the bed and the clothes, which made Joshua wonder even more where it was Justin disappeared to all day. The crate with dishes and silverware in it had a quarter of an inch of dust on it, and the one nearby with odds and ends that Joshua would have thought he really needed - a sewing kit, hunting knives, an axe and a couple of canteens - had obviously been untouched even longer.

It was hard for Joshua to fathom that Justin had been alone here almost as long as he had known Chris and hadn't used up all of his supplies or gone insane, especially since Justin and the horse didn't stay together. Joshua would have been a mindless wreck long before now, he knew it as well as he knew his name. He hated being alone and needed to have people near him that he could talk to or touch or just be with and know he wasn't all alone. Chris had always understood that and had spent all the time he could with Joshua, from choosing to work on his students' papers in the same room to sitting with Joshua on a Sunday afternoon reading a book or just holding him as he slept.

Joshua remembered Justin holding him as he slept the night before then and smiled slightly. Justin was sweet and absolutely beautiful, and gentle too even though Joshua seriously doubted that he knew his own strength. Joshua was finding a lot of the things that had drawn him to Chris were present in Justin too, from the way Justin didn't want to rush him into anything – Chris had made Joshua wait for months before he would do more than kiss him because he was sure Joshua would realize he really liked girls and not 'funny-looking Irish half-breeds' any moment – to the way Justin had watched him sleep this morning. Chris used to do that all the time because he said watching Joshua sleep was more relaxing than sleeping was, and he had often told Joshua he was beautiful first thing when he woke up. Joshua had never really believed it – he still had a mental image of himself as a gawky sixteen year old boy – but he had loved knowing that _Chris_ believed it.

Joshua was so deep in thought he didn't notice when Justin appeared at the end of the tunnel, pausing to lean sideways against the rough rock of the doorway and watch Joshua for a moment. Joshua looked so skinny in the oversized shirt, and the way he'd wrapped his arms around himself made Justin wonder if he was cold again. Justin smiled and hopped off the ledge then, landing lightly behind Joshua as he said, "Hey. Miss me?"

Joshua turned quickly and moved a little closer to Justin without really thinking about it, nodding as he gave him a shy smile. "Yeah, I did."

Justin cocked his head to one side, his smile fading slightly as he asked, "Didn't you enjoy your day?"

Joshua gave Justin a wider smile and nodded again. "Of course I did, we went for a ride and went swimming and then laid around together the rest of the day."

Justin chuckled. "Sounds like a great way to spend the day to me."

Joshua nodded. "Yeah, it was really nice. There was only one thing missing."

"What's that?" Justin asked, surprised.

"You," Joshua said, smiling again. He took another slow step towards Justin, then asked, "Can I have a hug?"

"You don't have to ask, Josh," Justin replied immediately, closing the last bit of distance between them. He wrapped his arms around Joshua's waist, smiling when Joshua did the same and then turning his head to brush a kiss across Joshua's temple before he said softly, "Anytime you want to touch me, just do it. I won't mind, I promise."

Joshua's arms tightened around Justin and he laid his head on his shoulder, closing his eyes and smiling. "I like to cuddle. A lot."

Justin grinned and tightened his arms around Joshua. "If that was supposed to be a threat, it wasn't a very good one."

Joshua smiled a little wider and rubbed his cheek against Justin's bare shoulder. "Maybe not, but after a while it'll lose it's appeal. Chris used to say I was worse than a cat because it was a lot harder to ignore me climbing into his lap when I wanted attention."

"Just sounds like _fun_ to me," Justin replied, still grinning.

"I'm glad," Joshua replied, and was about to go on when Justin's stomach rumbled loudly, making him chuckle as he pulled back to look at Justin. "Did you forget to eat?"

"Sort of," Justin replied, smiling at Joshua and loosening his hold on him only slightly. "There are some fruit trees just down the hill though. You want to come with me to go pick some?"

Joshua shook his head, smiling at Justin as he absently stroked his back with one hand. "I didn't eat much today either and thought we might be up late talking, so I brought some fruit back with me. You're welcome to some of it, I picked plenty for two." Joshua grinned suddenly and added, "I even picked extra bananas because the horse seems to like them."

Justin chuckled, nodding. "Almost as much as he likes you."

Joshua blushed slightly, looking down at Justin's collarbone as he smiled. "He's amazing. Smarter than most people, sweet and gentle and so beautiful, too." Joshua's smile turned a little shy again as he added, "You two are a lot alike."

Justin lifted one hand from Joshua's waist to lift his chin and make him look at him. "You think I'm all that?"

Joshua nodded slightly, trying not to think too hard about Justin's fingers gently holding his chin. "Yeah. We haven't been able to spend much time together yet, but you're really special, Justin. I can tell."

Justin leaned in and kissed him, his lips moving against Joshua's for only a second before he pulled away to look at him, smiling as Joshua's eyes slowly opened to look at him. "I feel the same way about you, Josh," Justin said quietly. "You're everything I ever prayed for back when I still believed enough to pray. I'm sorry you're stuck on this island with me, but I'm glad, too. Just seeing you smile makes this seem like paradise instead of a the only place my family could think of where nobody would ever see me again."

Joshua slid one hand up Justin's back, his blue-grey eyes sad as he said, "I'm so sorry they hurt you. You didn't deserve it."

"You don't even know why they left me here, Josh," Justin said, smiling slightly. "How do you know I don't belong as far away from normal people as possible?"

Joshua snorted. "You are smart and sweet and considerate and so very strong, there is nothing – and I mean _nothing_ – that could make you deserve to be sent away here alone when you were only thirteen. Don't ever think for a moment that your family was right to leave you here Justin, they weren't. It was criminal."

Justin looked a little surprised, then smiled and kissed Joshua on the end of the nose. "And _that_ is why I love you. You meant every single word of that, I could see it in those beautiful eyes of yours."

"Of course I meant it," Joshua replied as he looked down at Justin's neck, flustered, then he lifted his eyes to Justin's and asked softly, "You think you love me?"

"No," Justin replied, his smile widening slightly, "I'm sure I do. I meant it when I said you're everything I've ever wanted, Josh. I've had a lot of time to think the last couple of days, and it's very safe to say you've been uppermost in my mind."

Joshua blushed and looked down again. "But I'm nothing special. I mean, I'm--"

Justin put a finger on Joshua's lips to silence him. "Beautiful and sweet and so very close to perfect it's almost scary," Justin finished, still smiling as Joshua's blush deepened and he shook his head mutely. "I'm serious, Josh. Chris told you the same things, didn't he?"

Joshua bit his lip and then smiled slightly, looking up to meet Justin's eyes again finally as he admitted reluctantly, "Yeah, he did, and the only time he would really argue with me was when I tried to tell him he was crazy."

"Crazy about you, yeah," Justin replied with a sudden grin. "You're easy to fall for."

Joshua's blush came back full force and he looked down again as he changed the subject, asking, "I thought you were hungry?"

Justin looked surprised, then smirked. "Is that an invitation? 'Cause if it is, I just might take you up on it. You definitely look good enough to eat, all long legs and pale skin with that _perfect_ ass of yours..."

Joshua's face flamed and he pulled away from Justin. "I just _knew_ that horse was going to tell you!"

Justin laughed and stepped after him, grabbing Joshua's shoulder to turn him back towards him as he said, "What, you don't think I have eyes? You may be wearing that huge shirt now, but you weren't yesterday morning when you were laying on the beach and I had plenty of time to look before you woke up." Joshua's eyes widened, his face still flaming as that sank in, and Justin stepped closer to him, resting his hands on Joshua's waist and leaning his forehead against Joshua's as he said, "Josh, I didn't say something just to make you embarrassed. I look at you and I want to spend the next two or three years just touching you and kissing you because you're so damn beautiful inside and out, and you don't even know it. I feel like I should tell you until you believe me."

Joshua looked into Justin's eyes for a long moment before a slow smile spread across his face and he lifted his hands to rest them against Justin's stomach. "You're pretty special yourself, Justin."

Justin grinned. "And I have a nice ass, too."

Joshua laughed, finally relaxing. "You're something else."

"I'm something all right, but we won't go there until after we've had something to eat." Justin grinned again and kissed him, then let go and turned to walk over to where Joshua had left the knapsack as he asked, "What kind of fruit did you pick for us?"

Joshua watched him with a bemused smile. "Bananas, a few ripe oranges, and several bunches of those little things that are kind of like oranges but not."

"You're so good to me," Justin said, grinning as he pulled a handful of the little orange fruit from the bag. He offered the bag to Joshua, who took it and watched Justin skillfully open the peel on one of the fruits with his fingernails as he said, "Uncle John said these little things are called kumquats and I love 'em. The peel is kind of tart, but the rest is even better than the oranges."

Joshua watched Justin pop the fruit in his mouth with a grin, seeds and all, and then he turned to start taking the rest of the fruit out of the bag and put it on one of the crates. "I swear, you and that horse are two of a kind."

Justin's grin faded away and he watched Joshua for a long moment as he chewed slowly, then he swallowed and said, "You have no idea."

Joshua looked at him quickly when he heard Justin's suddenly serious tone. "Did I say something wrong?"

Justin shook his head, giving Joshua a quick reassuring smile. "No, I was just thinking that you and I really need to talk."

"About what?" Joshua asked, confused. "The horse?"

"Yeah, and me, and why you won't be seeing both of us at once," Justin said, walking over to sit on a crate near where Joshua was setting out the fruit. "Finish that and then have a seat so we can talk, okay?"

Joshua nodded and said, "Sure Justin, I won't take but a minute." He began taking fruit out of the bag again, and when he was sure he had it all he removed Justin's shaving kit and walked over to put it away and then put the knapsack on top of the crates of clothes before he returned to take a banana and sit near Justin, waiting for him to talk.

Justin bit his lip and looked at Joshua for a long moment, then looked down at his hands, tearing open another piece of fruit as he said, "I— I've never had to tell this to anyone before. My family all knew and they didn't let me see many other people, not even many servants." Justin popped the kumquat into his mouth and laid the peel aside, looking uncertain and even scared.

"Justin, it'll be okay. Just start at the beginning and tell me what you want me to know, and then we can go from there," Joshua said quietly, giving Justin a reassuring smile.

Justin was silent for a moment, then looked up and said, "I don't know how to explain it, or why it happened, this is just how things are, okay?"

Joshua nodded, still giving him a reassuring smile. "Okay, Justin. Don't worry, whatever it is I'm sure it's not as terrible as you think."

"I hope you still think that when you know," Justin said quietly, looking back down at his hands as he took a deep breath and then began to speak. "When I was little, my mother called me her golden child and showed me off all the time like I was a prize hound or something. I knew she did it because she was so proud of me so I tried not to let her see how I hated having to be the perfect little boy for everyone, never allowed to run around with my cousin Jon or hunt or anything like that because I might get hurt."

Justin paused a moment, so obviously upset that Joshua wanted to go hold him, and then Justin finally went on. "I was about twelve the first time it happened. I woke up one morning and everything was different, the colors all wrong and I was feeling really strange. I was scared and I called for my parents, and that just scared me more because my voice didn't sound right either. When my parents ran into my room my mother fell to her knees and started crying and yelling at God, asking him how he could do this to her perfect baby..." Justin trailed off and was silent for a long moment, then said simply, "I had turned into a horse."

Joshua's eyes went wide and he stared at Justin for a long moment before he said softly, "So the horse doesn't tell you things, and you don't tell him. He _is_ you."

Justin nodded, still keeping his eyes down and looking so miserable that Joshua stood and went over to him, gently cupping Justin's chin to lift it and make Justin look at him. Joshua's heart went out to Justin when he saw the shame and fear in Justin's eyes, and he wanted nothing more than to make it go away however he could. Justin was obviously afraid Joshua was going to react badly, and that just as obviously – to Joshua at least – meant his family had told him people would. Well, _Joshua_ was not going to react badly; he thought Justin had been hurt enough.

Joshua looked into Justin's eyes as he thought about it. The palomino was the most amazing horse Joshua had ever met, perfect really, and Justin was the single most amazing man he'd met – more so than Chris even and Joshua had loved him with all his heart – so the only question was if he could _believe_. He knew that the palomino was so much more than a horse, it was obvious, and Justin was a fairly accurate reflection of him with his red-gold curls that Joshua suddenly realized were almost the same shade as the horse's hide, the strong lithe build, the beauty, even blue eyes though the shades differed.

Joshua suddenly remembered something and removed his hand from Justin's chin to take Justin's right hand in both of his, turning his arm over to look at the inside of Justin’s wrist while Justin watched him in confusion. When Joshua saw the scar there he lifted his gaze back Justin's eyes, still holding Justin's hand in both of his as he smiled softly at him. Joshua really couldn't doubt it anymore then, even though it was impossible.

A saying Joshua’s grandfather used to spout all the time suddenly popped into his head. _'It was impossible but the damn fool didn't know that and went and did it anyway.'_

"Aren't you going to say anything?" Justin asked after a long moment, obviously confused. "Call me a liar or a freak or _something_?"

Joshua's smile widened slightly and he lifted one hand to gently cup Justin's jaw, rubbing his cheek with his thumb as he said, "You wouldn't lie to me, Justin, I know it." Justin leaned into his touch slightly, hope obvious on his face as Joshua went on firmly, "And you _aren't_ a freak, if you call yourself that again I'll make you regret it. You're an amazing young man who just happens to spend his days being a beautiful horse."

"So you're just going to accept it," Justin said softly, looking amazed. "Just like that."

"Justin, now that you told me it's so obvious I wonder how I missed it," Joshua replied, his smile widening. "As I kept telling you, the _'two of you'_ are a lot alike. I've been racking my brain for a reason that the palomino is so amazing. Now I have one." Joshua leaned in and kissed Justin gently, then looked into his eyes as he said softly, "He's you, and you're the most amazing person I've ever met."

"But you barely know me," Justin said softly, still not quite convinced Joshua could take it this well. His mother had told him over and over that if anyone ever found out they would put him in a freak show or burn him at the stake like his grandmother, and he had believed her.

"Justin, sweetheart, the first time I saw you I felt drawn to you, and by the time I looked into your eyes this morning I knew I was lost." Joshua smiled reassuringly at him and went on, "Chris told me a thousand times if he told me once that I fall head over heels in love easier than any person he'd ever met, whether it was with him or a horse or even just a stray dog. When I meet someone I could love somehow I know it – Chris called it an instinct – and even though I forgot how it feels for a while, I still knew when I met you that there was something special about you." Joshua suddenly grinned and said, "Think about it, you _were_ there. Who was I wondering about yesterday?"

Justin thought a moment, and then finally smiled slightly. "Every time you called me _'the boy'_ I wanted to argue that I was just as much a man as you are, but I wasn't at the time so it was kind of a moot point."

Joshua chuckled, nodding. "I couldn't get you out of my head all day, and then last night you were so sweet..." Joshua trailed off and just smiled at Justin for a moment before he said softly, "Sleeping next to you last night was one of the hardest things I've ever done. I wanted to explore that perfect body of yours, but you had been alone so long and you're so young and want to wait, so I had to keep my hands to myself."

Justin tugged on Joshua's hand then, pulling him closer as he took his other hand too, looking up at him as he said, "I hadn't been touched by _anyone_ in six years until yesterday, but even before that there weren't many people I could get close to. My parents kept me so isolated after the first time I changed that I never saw anyone but the orphan boy who worked in the stables, Jory. He was a few years older than me and lonely too, and we started spending a lot of time together. After a while we began fooling around at night, but we hadn't really done anything serious when my stepfather caught us one night." Justin looked down at where his hands held Joshua's as he said softly, "Paul wanted to have Jory horsewhipped for encouraging me, but my Uncle John - he's my father's brother - wouldn't let him and gave Jory a job working on his boat. That's when my stepfather decided to get rid of me too, and mother didn't argue with him. She didn't want anything to do with me after I started changing."

Joshua squeezed Justin's hands, making him look up as Joshua said, "I'm going to tell you what I realized this morning, and I want you to listen to me, okay?"

Justin nodded and Joshua smiled at him. "Put the past behind you, Justin, and then it can't hurt you anymore. You and I are here alone on a beautiful island, safe and free to be together where nobody will bother us, and I think we could be really happy here. If we _are_ ever found - I still don't remember anything from the last few weeks but I know my family will be looking for me eventually - you'll be welcome in Galloway. It's just a tiny town, but it's pretty there and we'd be safe and I know you would be welcomed by my family. My father is a bit of an elitist, but he accepted my relationship with Chris even though he was an orphan who grew up on the streets. Father will be thrilled with you, you're so confident and so perfect that you would have him eating out of your hand."

Justin smiled at that as Joshua went on, "If you don't like Georgia we could go to France to live on my grandfather's estate, my family still owns it and it wouldn't be hard for you and I to make a go of it. Grandfather raised race horses, and if it weren't for Chris not wanting to live off my family, I would have followed in his footsteps after I finished school." Joshua gave Justin a grin then and added, "My father has always said I was meant to spend my days on a horse, and that going to college and then teaching was a waste of time. He'd love hearing me admit he was right."

Justin looked at Joshua, his blue eyes twinkling as he tried not to grin. "Spend your days on a horse, huh?"

Joshua smirked and stepped closer, letting go of Justin's hands as he moved his knees onto the crate on either side of Justin's legs then put his hands on Justin's shoulders, sitting on Justin's knees as he said, "Yep! He's beautiful and loves to run, and really likes to be groomed, which is good because I love running my hands all over him."

Justin grinned and wrapped his arms around Joshua, pulling him just a little bit closer as he looked into his eyes. "And your nights?"

"Well now," Joshua said, then took one hand off Justin's shoulder and slowly stroked down his chest, looking into Justin's eyes with a wicked little grin. "That would be up to you."

 

 

 

 

~ ~ 5 ~ ~

 

Justin grinned and asked, "What are my choices?"

Joshua laughed and leaned forward to kiss him, licking slowly along Justin's upper lip before he pulled away to look into surprised blue eyes and grin. "What do you want them to be?"

Justin pretended to think a minute and then leaned forward to kiss the base of Joshua's throat, grinning against his neck when he felt Joshua shiver and lean closer to him. Justin began kissing and nibbling his way up Joshua's neck then, speaking between kisses as Joshua's right hand slid into his curls, encouraging him. "I ... don't really ... know ... what to ... ask ... you ... to do. You ... decide."

Joshua shuddered when Justin's lips found his earlobe and gently sucked on it, and when Justin nuzzled behind it a moment later Joshua said softly, "Justin, tell me what you want so I can do it. You're driving me crazy."

Justin grinned against Joshua's neck again as he lightly nibbled at it, then he lifted his head to look at Joshua as he said, "I don't know really, not beyond the fact I want you. What do you like?"

Joshua smiled and then leaned forward to kiss Justin instead of answering him, sliding his tongue against Justin's lips almost immediately, gently encouraging Justin to part them. Justin pulled him closer as he opened his mouth, then made a low noise as Joshua's tongue flickered against his for a moment before caressing the inside of his lips until Justin's tongue experimentally moved against his. Joshua smiled into the kiss and moved his tongue slowly again, coaxing a soft little moan from Justin as he pulled Joshua closer, their tongues sliding wetly against each other as Justin relaxed and licked into Joshua's mouth.

Joshua finally pulled away after they had been kissing for a few minutes, smiling into Justin's darkened blue eyes and gently stroking his shoulders and neck. "Anything you want, Justin. Just tell me."

Justin looked up at him a long moment, smiling and letting his hands slowly roam Joshua's body as he finally said, "I want to kiss you." He leaned forward and kissed Joshua's jaw. "And touch you." He kissed Joshua's lips as one hand slid under Joshua's shirt to slide up his back while Joshua trembled slightly. "And hold you." He pulled Joshua a little closer, his lips grazing Joshua's ear as he whispered, "And love you."

Joshua shuddered and pulled away only to lean in close again and kiss Justin, deepening the kiss as Justin's tongue moved to meet his, stroking and sliding against each other for a moment before Joshua pulled away to grin down into his eyes. "We should move, then. I don't want splinters in my knees."

Justin laughed and slid his hands down to cup Joshua's ass. "Good idea, I don't want any splinters either." He stood, picking Joshua up and then hitching him up a little higher so Joshua's thighs were on either side of his hips.

Joshua giggled and held on, wrapping his legs around Justin as he said, "That's going to _really_ take some getting used to."

Justin smirked at him and carried him towards the bed as he asked, "What, hasn't anyone carried you around before?"

"Not since I was little," Joshua replied, smiling.

"Well, you can't say that anymore," Justin replied with a smug grin. "I'll be carrying you around quite a bit."

Joshua laughed softly and nodded as Justin put one knee on the bed and bent down to gently lay Joshua on his back, and Justin was about to pull away when Joshua tightened his hold on him and pulled him down for a kiss. Justin shuddered a moment later when Joshua lifted his hips against him and then suddenly rolled them over, groaning when Joshua settled on top of him without breaking their kiss. Justin's hands slid down Joshua's back again to cup his ass, feeling the flex of muscle as Joshua began to rock his hips, rubbing slowly against Justin's erection until Justin thrust up against him in response.

Joshua pulled his lips away from Justin's then and began kissing, licking and nibbling along his jaw as Justin gasped softly and rocked up against him again, his eyes closed tight as his hands encouraged Joshua to keep moving, a low needy noise escaping his throat every time his hips moved but otherwise staying silent other than his rapid breathing. Joshua trailed kisses down Justin’s neck, pausing to lick and nibble occasionally as Justin's thrusts against him became more insistent, enjoying the slightly salty taste of Justin's skin as the younger man began sweating. Joshua sucked gently at the skin at the base of Justin’s throat when he reached Justin's collarbone, then gently nibbled at the reddened spot as he rocked his hips to meet Justin's thrusts, enjoying the friction against his own erection. It had been a long time since Joshua was with anyone, and he was relishing the feeling of having a willing, passionate body under him when Justin groaned a few moments later, his hands pulling Joshua's hips down as he shuddered under him and thrust erratically up against him a few more times before he was still, breathing hard. Joshua looked down at him with a smug little grin, waiting for him to recover, then Justin's eyes opened and Joshua leaned down to kiss him, thrusting his tongue into Justin's mouth when Justin parted his lips in invitation.

Joshua was surprised when Justin rolled them over again after a moment to kneel between Joshua's thighs and smile down at him, still breathing a little hard as he asked softly, "Would it be okay if I undress you? I want to see you."

Joshua nodded, smiling. "I'd like that, as long as you'll get rid of your clothes too."

"You won't have to ask twice, Josh." Justin gave him a quirky little grin and leaned down to kiss him, sucking Joshua's lower lip for a second before he pulled away and sat up, pulling Joshua up to a sitting position too and then kissing him again.

Joshua rested his hands on Justin's sides as Justin's tongue explored his mouth and strong hands slowly slid up his chest under his shirt, brushing across his nipples and making Joshua arch against him. Justin pulled away with a grin a moment later and then pulled Joshua's shirt up and off, tossing it aside as he leaned towards Joshua and kissed him again. Joshua lay back on the bed after a moment, pulling Justin after him as one of Justin's hands slid up his chest to tease his nipples again, this time lingering to rub gently at one nipple as Joshua wrapped one leg around Justin's waist, pulling his hips down so Joshua could rock up against him again.

Justin broke the kiss a moment later and pulled away to slide down and lick one of Joshua's nipples, grinning when Joshua whimpered softly, arching his back with a moan. Justin closed his lips around the hard little bud and sucked gently, his hand slowly sliding down Joshua's stomach to unfasten his pants. Joshua gasped when Justin's fingers brushed his erection while he was undoing the buttons, thrusting his hips up as Justin freed the last button, then Justin shifted to one side to grin and watch Joshua's face as he freed Joshua’s erection and wrapped his fingers loosely around it.

Joshua thrust into his hand almost immediately with a soft moan, then Justin tightened his grip and began stroking slowly while Joshua thrust in counterpoint, groaning as his grip on Justin's shoulder tightened while his other hand fisted in the blanket beneath him. Justin grinned as precome dribbled down Joshua's cock to ease the slide of his hand over the hard flesh, knowing that what he was doing must feel pretty good as he slid his fist up Joshua's erection again, his thumb stroking lightly across the sensitive crown. Joshua thrust upward again with a gasp then and Justin slid his hand along Joshua's cock again, brushing his thumb across the head again just as Joshua came with a low cry, his hips thrusting slightly each time his cock pulsed in Justin's hand before he was finally still.

Justin brought his hand to his mouth then and began to lick it clean with a smug grin, watching as Joshua laid bonelessly on the bed trying to catch his breath before he opened his eyes and looked at Justin, a slow grin spreading across his face. "You know, much as I enjoyed that, we still didn't take our clothes off yet."

Justin laughed. "I _started_ taking your clothes off. I can't help it you didn't want to wait a minute."

Joshua rolled towards Justin and slipped his arms around him as he grinned and said, "We could take a minute now to do that, and then-" Justin's stomach rumbled loudly and Joshua laughed. "Or we could eat."

Justin chuckled and then kissed him rather thoroughly before he pulled back and said, "If we're going to eat, now's as good a time as any I guess."

"I'd think so, yeah," Joshua replied, grinning. "I'm hungry too, but if we stay here much longer I know we won't want to stop." Joshua rolled away and sat up, then stood and buttoned his pants - which needed washed _again_ \- before he walked over towards where he'd left the fruit, expecting Justin to follow him. When he reached the crate next to the one the food was on he picked up a couple kumquats then moved to the nearest crate and turned to sit down on it before he stopped, his eyes widening. Justin was walking towards him, completely naked and grinning. "J- Justin, what you doing?"

"Walking over here to get something to eat maybe?" Justin replied with a smirk, stopping in front of Joshua to take one of the kumquats from his hand even though there were a dozen more on the nearby crate with the other fruit. He quickly split the peel and then gave Joshua an innocent grin as he asked, "Why do you ask?"

Justin put the kumquat in his mouth and began chewing as Joshua laughed and walked over to pick up a generous handful of the kumquats. "You know very well why I asked. You're going to wind up with splinters _yet_ , I'd bet on it."

Justin smirked and watched Joshua sit down on one of the other crates and put most of the kumquats next to his leg and begin peeling one before Justin moved to stand in front of him. "Not if I don't sit on a crate."

Joshua grinned up at him as he finished peeling and asked, "So you're going to stand to eat?"

Justin watched Joshua pop the piece of fruit into his mouth before he said, "I could always sit in your lap, or even take you and the fruit over to the bed."

Joshua chewed a moment then swallowed and gave Justin an impish grin. "Try the bed, I have no doubt you're too heavy to be sitting in my lap."

Justin stuck his tongue out at Joshua, the first childish thing he'd seen Justin do, really, and then Justin said, "I can't help it I'm bigger than you are." He took another kumquat and then gave Joshua a wicked grin. " _Taller,_ too."

Joshua chuckled, shaking his head as he picked up another kumquat. "I'll say it again, you are something else."

Justin leaned down and kissed his cheek. "Thank you." He popped another piece of fruit in his mouth as he turned to walk over to the crate that held his dishes, bending to dig through it.

Joshua watched him with a grin as he chewed on another piece of fruit, shamelessly admiring the view, then swallowed and asked, "What are you looking for?"

Justin turned his head to look at Joshua without straightening up and grinned when he saw his expression, then wiggled his butt. "See something you like?"

Joshua gave him a wicked grin. "Oh _hell_ yeah. But what are you looking for?"

Justin smirked and then turned back to the crate as he said, "I've got a bowl big enough to hold all that fruit in here somewhere." He dug around a bit more, rattling tin plates and the small cooking pots and pans that were in the crate, and then said, "Ha! Found it!"

"Why haven't you used it until now?" Joshua asked, still grinning as he watched Justin shut the crate and stand up with a blue and white speckled metal bowl.

Justin shrugged, walking back over to the fruit. "I told you Josh, all I ever did in here was sleep. When you got here it had been almost a month since I even used a candle, and then I only had it lit for a few minutes to mark down the full moon. Other than that I haven't used even the candles in a long time."

Joshua watched Justin pile the fruit in the bowl, and then when Justin walked towards him he asked, "So you've been writing down every full moon? I'd wondered how you knew how long you've been here."

Justin gave him a quick grin and stopped next to Joshua to put all the fruit he had in the bowl, too. "Yeah. At first I kept a journal, writing down all sorts of things and wasting time wishing I could go back home even though I had stayed locked up most of the time, but after a while I started only writing once a month on the full moon. After  the second year I even quit doing that." Justin shrugged, and then started towards the bed with Joshua following him as Justin said, "I've spent a lot of time out on the rocks or down by the waterfall or even walking on the beaches at night, saying whatever went through my head just to hear someone talk. I think that's what I missed most besides touching someone. When I was a kid I never talked much, but over the last five years I've talked to myself so much I got sick of hearing my own voice. Even then it was better than nothing, though."

Joshua rested a hand on Justin's arm just as Justin bent to put the bowl of fruit on the crate by the bed then, and Justin put the bowl down and straightened to look at Joshua questioningly. Joshua stepped closer, slipping his arms around Justin as he said softly, "I don't know how you managed to live here alone so long. I couldn't do it, I'd go quite noisily insane." Justin chuckled at that and Joshua gave him a wry grin as he added, "I'll talk to you whenever you want, Justin, about anything you want me to, and I'll listen to anything you want to say, too."

Justin wrapped his arms around Joshua and gave him a quick kiss, then smiled at him. "I'll hold you to that, Josh. I want to know all about you." Justin kissed him again then, their tongues stroking lazily against each other for a long moment, then Justin pulled back and said, "Now, if I recall, you said I could get you naked."

Justin reached for the waist of Joshua's pants as Joshua chuckled and pushed his hands away, saying, "Sit down, Justin. I'm _quite_ capable of unfastening my own pants, thank you."

Justin grinned and reached for his waist again. "But I like unbuttoning your pants, I just _love_ how you react."

Joshua chuckled again and shoved him towards the bed. "Go sit down and eat! The fruit!"

Justin turned to step up onto the bed, walking to the middle of it before he turned and flopped down to watch Joshua unbutton his pants, pouting. "You're mean."

"Oh, I know, Justin, I'm _terrible_ ," Joshua replied with a mock serious expression, slowly unbuttoning his pants as he watched Justin try hard to look like he didn't care what he was doing even though Justin was quite simply staring. "Here I am getting naked so I can join you in your bed and corrupt you thoroughly. I should be ashamed of myself." Joshua dropped his pants then and hid a grin at the way Justin's eyes narrowed, then stepped closer and sat down cross-legged on the bed, shifting a little to get comfortable before he took a banana from the bowl of fruit and put the bowl on the bed between him and Justin, asking innocently, "Want some?"

"Oh _yeah_ ," Justin answered feelingly, otherwise not moving as his eyes slowly roamed over Joshua's body, lingering on his lap as Joshua peeled the banana.

"Fruit, Justin," Joshua said after a moment, trying not to laugh.

"Huh?" Justin asked, blinking as he looked quickly up at Joshua's face just as Joshua put the banana to his mouth.

Joshua's blue eyes were full of mischief as he moved the banana away from his mouth and said, "Eat some fruit, Justin." Joshua put the banana in his mouth then as Justin watched, and Joshua decided to tease him, putting over half the banana in his mouth and then slowly pulling it out and doing it again before he suddenly took a big bite, trying not to laugh when Justin winced.

Justin noticed how amused Joshua was finally then and chuckled. "You're having fun teasing me, aren't you?"

Joshua gave him a wide-eyed innocent look. "Who, me?! I'm just eating a banana."

Justin laughed and took another kumquat out of the bowl. "Uh-huh. You know exactly what you're doing." Joshua kept up the innocent look for another moment before Justin chuckled and added, "Never thought I'd envy a piece of fruit."

Joshua smirked and took another bite of the banana instead of answering, and the two of them ate in silence, taking advantage of the chance to look at each other until Justin finally broke the silence. "You done?"

Joshua nodded, smiling. "How about you? You had less to eat than I did today."

Justin gave him a quick grin and picked up the bowl to give it to Joshua so he could set it off the bed. "I had plenty, Josh. I was just sitting here thinking about dessert."

Joshua sat the bowl on the little crate by the bed and then grinned at Justin as he asked, "Dessert?"

"Yep," Justin replied, shifting up to his knees and moving towards Joshua with a little smirk. "Something sweet, but salty, too."

Joshua grinned and let Justin nudge him to lay on his back as he said, "Oh really? What would that be?"

Justin ducked his head suddenly to lick a trail up the center of Joshua's chest, then lifted his head again and gave him a wicked grin as he said, "You."

 

 

 

Joshua woke up the next morning when Justin tried to get out of bed, and he pulled Justin down for a kiss before he let him go and said quietly, "Please don't go up the hill this morning, Justin. It _really_ scares me to think about you on those rocks."

Justin leaned down to kiss him again before he answered softly, "Okay, baby, I won't. I'll go to the meadow where we were yesterday, it's not far. You go back to sleep, okay?"

Joshua smiled as Justin got out of bed even though he knew Justin couldn't see him in the dark. "I will. I'm exhausted for some reason."

Justin chuckled and pulled the blankets back up around Joshua, tucking him in as he said smugly, "I'm not tired at all."

"Of course you aren't," Joshua replied sleepily. "You would have kept going all night if I'd been able to."

"Sounds like _somebody_ needs more exercise," Justin said, smirking. "What can I say?"

Joshua snorted, rolling to his side and smiling into the darkness as he said, "How about 'Sorry Josh, I'll let you sleep some tonight'?"

Justin laughed and started for the tunnel as he said, "No dice, baby. You'd better take another nap this afternoon."

Joshua chuckled softly. "If I'm not up by noon, wake me up, okay?"

"Sure Josh, see you later," Justin said from the doorway, then more quietly, "I love you."

Joshua smiled in the darkness and said, "I love you too," then closed his eyes, idly thinking as he drifted off to sleep again that falling overboard during that storm was the best thing that had ever happened to him.

 

 

 

 

~ ~ 6 ~ ~

 

Joshua was awakened by his bladder several hours after Justin left for the morning, but he really didn't want to get out of bed yet so he tried to ignore it. He rolled over to put his back to the dimly lit cave entrance and snuggled a little deeper under the blankets as he tried to go back to sleep, but after only a few moments he opened his eyes again, sighing. He was nice and warm but he really did need to go to the privy, and laying there wasn't going to make it go away. He rolled to his back again, lifting his arms over his head and arching his back slightly as he stretched, enjoying the feeling until the muscles in the back of one leg suddenly cramped and he flinched, carefully flexing his leg until the cramp went away. Joshua threw back the blanket and reached for his pants, a slow grin spreading across his face as he pulled them on even though he was still tired and even a little sore.

Joshua stood up a moment later, ignoring the twinge in his thigh as he started quickly towards the tunnel that led outside, buttoning his pants as he walked while he thought about the night before. Justin truly hadn't known much about sex and had insisted Joshua either tell him what to do or show him, and since Joshua had a lot more experience he had wanted Justin to go first. Joshua had never tried to tell anyone how to have sex before, so explaining what to do was more than a little difficult, and it only got moreso when Justin started kissing and touching him. Somehow he had managed to explain well enough – mostly because of Justin's persistence and complete lack of shame – and then they had spent quite a while cuddling and talking between kisses before Justin made love to him again and then they curled up together and slept a few hours before Justin had to leave.

Joshua's walk back from the privy was much less hurried, and when he spotted a narrow path headed up the hill in the general direction of the waterfall he turned to follow it, hoping it led to the spring that Justin had said was up here somewhere. There weren't any tracks on the narrow path and Joshua was just about to turn back when he finally heard running water, and he hurried his steps until he rounded a corner and stopped, grinning. There was an artesian spring tucked into the side of the hill that emptied into a narrow pool that looked several feet deep with a good-sized creek flowing from it towards a ledge about twenty feet away. Joshua figured that must be the waterfall and walked over towards the edge, careful not to get too close, then grinned when he saw the long narrow field they'd spent the day in the day before spread out below with the palomino -- _Justin_ \-- shining in the sun as he grazed near the clump of odd trees.

Joshua watched him for a long moment before he turned and walked over to the pool to get a drink, which was why he'd wanted to find the spring to begin with, and then he headed back towards the cave to go find a clean pair of pants that would fit this time. Ten minutes later he was back at the spring with the knapsack, a canteen and some clean clothes, and he quickly washed in the pool before he moved to the creek near the ledge and rinsed out his clothes - again - and laid them on the rocks nearby to dry, making sure to set a few rocks on the pants and the shirt so they wouldn't blow away if it got windy. Joshua went to sit on the ledge then and watch Justin while he ate the last banana, smiling as he let his mind drift over such weighty things as what kind of fruit to pick for lunch.

Justin started drifting towards the trail that led towards the cave a little while later, so Joshua stood and put the knapsack on, then carried the canteen back to the cave so he wouldn't have to go up the hill to the spring every time he wanted a drink. He started walking down the path then, figuring he'd meet Justin at the head of the path that led to the little meadow they'd spent his first day on the island in because it had more orange and kumquat trees and he wanted to pick enough to keep some of both -- mainly oranges since he knew they stored well -- in the cave.

Joshua paused along the path when he saw a scrubby tree with a few tangerines on it, picking the ripest one before he continued on down the trail as he began to peel it. He reached the path to the smaller meadow without seeing any sign of Justin so he sat down on a nearby rock to wait and eat the tangerine, watching the path as he nibbled at the fruit and wondered if there were many of the trees that produced them on the island. So far he'd seen two that he was sure of and one more that had a small green fruit on it he thought could have been either tangerines or oranges but were too small yet to tell. He had never seen a wild lime before, so the idea that the small green fruit were supposed to stay that way never crossed his mind.

Joshua finished his tangerine and was licking his sticky fingers clean when he saw Justin trotting purposefully up the path and grinned, sitting still and waiting until Justin was only a few feet away from him before he asked, "Enjoy your morning?"

Justin tossed his head and nickered, then stepped close to Joshua to nuzzle his cheek as Joshua reached up to touch his face, smiling. Justin pulled away after a moment and looked questioningly at Joshua, then up towards the cave and back at Joshua, clearly waiting for him to say something.

"Why am I out here?" Joshua asked with a little grin.

Justin nodded and nudged Joshua's chest, then hung his head slightly and closed his eyes a moment before opening them and looking at Joshua again.

Joshua chuckled and stepped closer to take a couple of small twigs out of Justin's mane as he said, "I wasn't sleepy anymore, and I wanted a bath and a drink so I went up to the spring, then I sat on the ledge and watched you for a while. When you headed this way I started walking down here to meet you, and I found a tree with some tangerines on it along the way so I had a snack."

Justin made the noise Joshua was now quite sure was laughter and turned his head to nudge Joshua towards his side.

Joshua grinned. "You don't have to tell me twice." He swung up onto Justin's back easily before he added, "I wanted to go back to the little meadow today so I could pick some more fruit, is that okay?" Justin nodded and turned to start down that path as Joshua patted his shoulder. "Thanks. There seemed to be more ripe fruit down there for some reason, especially along that path towards the beach."

Justin nodded again and nickered softly as he sped up to an easy jog down the path, and when he got to the first branch where Joshua expected him to go left he continued on straight instead.

"Wasn't that other path the one we took before?"

Justin tossed his head and kept going.

"Does this one go to the little meadow, too?" Joshua asked, and when Justin shook his head he asked, "Then where are we going?" Justin snorted softly and glanced back at Joshua, who grinned and said, "Never mind, stupid question."

Justin nodded and made the laughing noise as he turned to the left onto a narrow path.

Joshua swatted Justin's shoulder lightly and laughed. "You didn't have to agree with me!" He ducked to avoid a low branch, starting to pick his head up only to see there were more ahead so he leaned down the rest of the way to drape his arms around Justin's neck. "Remember later to tell me why we took this path."

Justin snorted softly and continued on, occasionally stepping over a log or dodging a vine as the 'path' disintegrated, then he slowed to walk through an area of jungle that had blessedly little undergrowth but was still not safe to run through because of the roots of trees. Joshua was just about to say something about it not making any sense to go this way when he saw a break in the trees ahead and held his tongue, waiting to see where Justin had taken him. A moment later he could see that the clearing was very small, barely twenty feet across, but it was full of tall grass and had a veritable thicket of stunted tangerine trees along one side with a wide path leading away from the clearing on the other side.

"Okay, so maybe taking that path _was_ a good idea," Joshua said with a grin as he shrugged out of the knapsack's straps and swung it around to sit on Justin's withers in front of him. "I love these little things!"

Justin tossed his head and walked over close to the tangerine trees to let Joshua pick them from his back, the added height making him able to reach fruit he normally would have had to leave. Joshua carefully picked out only the ripe fruit -- which of course seemed to be on the highest branches -- while Justin ate the tall grass growing under and around the trees. When Joshua had picked what he could reach, Justin moved over to the next tree to continue grazing the tall grass there while Joshua picked more.

"I think that's enough of these, we want a variety, right?" Joshua asked a few minutes later, looking into the knapsack at the fifteen or so small fruit he'd put into it already.

Justin nodded and waited for Joshua to close the knapsack before moved to leave the clearing while Joshua slung it on his back again, and as soon as Justin felt Joshua's hands on his mane he sped up into an easy canter down the path that curved steadily to the left.

They continued down the path only a short distance before they crossed a little creek and Justin turned to follow it upstream, prompting Joshua to ask, "Is this the same creek we walked along the other night?"

Justin tossed his head, and then slowed from a canter to an easy jog a few minutes later as they reached the tiny little waterfall and the pool it fed into, where Justin turned down the path towards the little field.

"It seemed like it was shorter that way," Joshua said a moment later as Justin stopped near an orange tree to let him dismount.

Justin shook his head and then watched Joshua move over to the tree and open the knapsack before he put it down under it.

Joshua began picking fruit as he grinned over his shoulder at Justin and said, "I guess it just seemed shorter 'cause I didn't have to walk it myself, huh?"

Justin nodded and whickered softly at him, then moved over to nuzzle Joshua's hair before he turned to go graze while Joshua moved around the meadow, stopping at most of the fruit trees to pick some. Justin figured they'd be there for a long time so Joshua wanted to leave plenty of fruit for them to pick later and to drop seeds to reseed the plants naturally, so he was careful not to strip any one tree. Joshua filled the knapsack with fruit and then ate before he laid down to take a nap under the same tree he'd slept under the first day while Justin stayed nearby, taking full advantage of the fact horses could sleep while they grazed.

 

 

 

Justin woke Joshua up a little less than half an hour before sunset by nibbling gently at his neck, making Joshua giggle and squirm as he said sleepily, "Justin, quit, that tickles." Justin nuzzled his cheek then and Joshua rolled to his back to look up at him, smiling as he lifted his hand to rub Justin's cheek. "Is it time to go already?"

Justin nodded slightly and then nudged his shoulder before he pulled away and moved over to the knapsack to pick it up in his teeth, surprised at how heavy it was.

Joshua sat up then, yawning widely as he stretched both hands over his head. "I think I could get used to lazing around all day," Joshua said after a moment, hopping to his feet with a grin to take the knapsack from Justin. "It's kind of nice not having anything to worry about all day other than feeding myself and staying out of the sun."

Justin whickered softly, amused, and turned his head to point at his back.

Joshua smiled as he shrugged into the straps on the bag and then walked over and mounted, almost overbalancing because of the knapsack full of fruit but Justin shifted sideways to keep him from falling. "Sorry about that," Joshua said as soon as he was settled, "I misjudged my jump. You can go now. It's nearly dark."

Justin nodded and then started off at a steady canter, heading straight for the trail they'd used the first night to get up to the cave. It was a fairly wide, clear trail so Justin didn't have to worry about stumbling or knocking Joshua off on a branch, and it didn't take them long at all to reach the path up the hill.

"Would you let me off by the next path?" Joshua asked as they neared the trail leading to the privy, shifting the bag of fruit slightly so the straps would stop digging into his shoulders.

Justin stopped instead of answering, and as soon as Joshua had dismounted he pointed up the hill with his nose, then looked expectantly as Joshua.

"You're going on up?" Joshua asked, shrugging out of the knapsack's straps to carry it in his hand instead because the straps were still digging into his shoulders.

Justin nodded and then reached to take the knapsack, tugging at it until Joshua let go with a chuckle.

"Okay, okay, you can carry it. I'll be up in a few minutes," Joshua replied with a grin, then sobered and said more quietly, "If you go up past the cave please be careful, that hillside is dangerous."

Justin nickered softly and nodded as best he could while holding the bag of fruit, then turned and started up the trail towards the cave while Joshua headed down the path towards the privy.

Joshua wanted to give the sun time to go down so he didn't hurry even though the wind was kicking up and he was getting cold, and it was well past sunset when he reached the mouth of the cave and found Justin sitting there eating. Joshua smiled immediately when he saw him. "You're hungry again?"

Justin grinned and tossed away a kumquat peel, chewing a moment before he swallowed and said, "Not really, I just love 'em." Justin stood up then and stepped towards Joshua, slipping his arms around him and pulling him close. "They taste almost as good as you do." Justin kissed him then, completely unhurried as his tongue slowly roamed Joshua's mouth, rediscovering.

Joshua smiled at Justin when they finally parted a few minutes later and then leaned in to kiss him again, just a quick brush of his lips against Justin's before he gave him a little grin and said, "Let's go inside, it's getting breezy out here."

"Yeah, it feels like it'll storm later." Justin returned the grin and gave him a quick squeeze before he let go and turned away to pick up the knapsack out of the doorway, slinging it over one shoulder. He hopped up on the ledge then and turned to offer Joshua his hand without a word, just smiling at him as Joshua let Justin help him up onto the ledge, then followed him down the tunnel.

When they reached the end Joshua didn't bother saying he could jump down on his own, instead stopping as Justin hopped down and then allowing Justin to lift him down like he'd done the first night. Joshua grinned at him in the darkness as he said, "Much better," then leaned forward to kiss Justin again as he took the knapsack off Justin's shoulder. Joshua pulled away from the kiss then to feel to the right of the door for the crate he knew was there and put the bag down, then moved back towards Justin as he grinned and asked, "Now where are you?"

Justin laughed, the noise allowing Joshua to find him, and when Joshua's arms slid around him again Justin kissed him, his lips grazing Joshua's slightly stubbled cheek just before he grinned and said, "Somebody forgot to shave."

Joshua chuckled and replied, "So did you," then leaned closer to kiss the side of Justin's neck near his shoulder, nibbling gently before he began kissing his way upwards, leaving a damp trail.

Justin made a low noise when Joshua's lips found the sensitive skin behind his ear and he leaned his head to the side just a bit to give Joshua more access, prompting Joshua to suck gently at the skin before he nibbled it again. Justin shivered a moment later when Joshua's lips closed around his earlobe and then he moaned softly when Joshua sucked on it, stroking the sensitive skin with his tongue before he let go of it and whispered softly, his lips brushing Justin's ear with every word. "I'd love to make love to you right now."

Justin shivered again. "What are you waiting for?"

Joshua chuckled softly and kissed his cheek. "For you to find the bed, I can't see a thing."

Justin began backing away from Joshua then and he tugged at his waist as he said, "I'll get us to the bed, you get rid of your clothes."

Joshua grinned and followed him, pulling off his shirt as he let Justin guide him across the room and then reaching for the waist of Justin's pants to begin unbuttoning them, not at all surprised to find Justin was already hard. Joshua unfastened the last button just as Justin reached the bed, and Joshua bent to kiss Justin's chest, his lips brushing across Justin's right nipple as his fingers lightly stroked Justin's erection, not lingering long enough to do anything but make him want more. Justin groaned and his hips jerked as Joshua's fingers brushed over the head of his cock a moment later, then Joshua's hands closed on his hips to hold him still while he sucked at Justin's collarbone.

Justin reached for Joshua's pants then and began unbuttoning them as he said softly, "You're such a tease."

Joshua grinned against his throat and licked a trail up to Justin's jaw before he whispered, "It's only teasing if I don't plan to follow through." He brushed a kiss along Justin's jaw towards his ear, then nuzzled behind his ear and slid his hands around to cup Justin's ass as he added, "I'm going to spend a little while driving you crazy, then I'm going to show you why I couldn't hold still last night."

Justin grinned and pushed Joshua's pants down as one of Joshua's hands moved between their bodies again. "Sounds like a plan to— Oh, god," he gasped, thrusting as Joshua's fingers suddenly closed firmly around the base of his cock.

Joshua grinned and nibbled lightly at Justin's shoulder as he felt Justin's hands close on his hips and Justin rocked against him again with a low noise, then he moved his head to put his lips by Justin's ear as he breathed, "Lay down."

Joshua gave his erection a squeeze and tug and then let go just as Justin tried to thrust into his hand again, and Justin made a soft protesting noise before he pulled Joshua's hips flush against his own, pressing their cocks together so he could grind against Joshua.

Joshua rocked his hips forward against Justin's involuntarily, then nipped gently at Justin's neck and pushed him backwards to put distance between them as he said, "Bed, now."

"But you feel so good," Justin said softly, ducking his head to kiss the side of Joshua's throat as he tried to pull him closer again.

"It'll feel even better once I don't have to worry about trying to stand up at the same time, I promise," Joshua replied, grinning as he pushed Justin back again, this time a bit more firmly. "Lay down."

Justin sighed and let go of him, turning to step up on the bed and kick the blankets over out of the way before he flopped down and stared up into the darkness, shifting slightly until he was comfortable. "Okay, I laid down, now what?" Joshua didn't say anything in reply and Justin was just about to ask him again when he felt the bed shift as Joshua moved onto it, then Joshua licked his stomach and he moaned softly.

"Now I get to play," Joshua said, then his left hand was on Justin's thigh, stroking it as he moved to run his tongue along Justin's erection, holding Justin down with the other hand when his hips lifted.

Joshua moved his left hand to hold the base of Justin's erection and then took the head in his mouth to slowly swirl his tongue around it, feeling Justin's stomach muscles bunching under his right arm every time Justin tried to thrust upwards. Joshua slowly took more of Justin's erection into his mouth then, flickering his tongue along the underside as he listened to the low noises Justin was making, thinking that they were probably supposed to be words. Joshua pulled away after a moment to lick Justin's cock from base to tip and then took him in his mouth again, this time sucking as he let Justin rock upwards to thrust deeper into his mouth. Joshua's left hand moved down across Justin's balls then, knowing Justin wouldn't be able to keep going for much longer, and his fingers had just found the tight pucker behind them when Justin gasped his name and came.

Joshua pulled away so that only the head of Justin's cock was in his mouth then, swallowing as Justin's cock throbbed against his tongue but careful not to swallow all of it because he intended to try a trick Chris had taught him. When Justin was finally still, Joshua let his cock slip from his mouth and then pulled away to lift one of Justin's legs to drape it over his shoulder before he leaned down to lick at the skin behind Justin's balls, making Justin gasp in surprise. Joshua found what he was feeling for a moment later and began spreading Justin's semen and his own saliva around the entrance to Justin's body, stroking his tongue against the tight pucker several times before he slowly pushed it inside. Justin shuddered and arched his back as Joshua slowly fucked him with his tongue, and within a moment or two Justin was moving into it and making low encouraging noises. Joshua lifted his head after a few minutes, grinning when he heard Justin moan in protest, then put his fingers in his mouth to get them wet before he moved them to Justin's ass.

Joshua pressed against him with his index finger then, expecting resistance but instead Justin lifted his hips towards the pressure, moaning softly as Joshua's fingertip slipped inside. Joshua's eyebrows went up at that but he carefully pushed his finger deeper until he found that spot that inside that all men had, unable to help a grin when Justin gasped his name and arched up towards him. Joshua eased a second finger inside a moment later and began carefully stretching Justin, a little surprised at how easily Justin was relaxing for him but not about to complain. He'd had to learn how to go slowly and carefully with Chris, who had let Joshua make love to him if he wanted to but who never could seem to relax completely and didn't really enjoy it, and to find Justin was just the opposite was a very welcome surprise.

By the time Joshua decided Justin was ready the younger man had been moving into his touch for several minutes as Joshua fingered him, writhing slowly on the bed and quite obviously enjoying everything Joshua was doing to him. Joshua pulled his fingers free then and Justin whimpered as Joshua moved closer, wishing for some light again as he lined up against Justin's body by feel. Joshua's erection nudged against Justin's entrance after a moment though and he paused to take a deep breath while Justin said quietly, "Josh, please. I need you."

"I know, baby," Joshua replied, smiling into the darkness. "Just relax, you'll love this."

Justin's hand found Joshua's arm and slid up towards his shoulder as he lifted his hips towards Joshua and said softly, "Now."

Joshua didn't reply, instead carefully pushing inside, the muscles in his back and shoulders tightening as he fought to keep from thrusting when he felt Justin's tight ass clench around him as Justin moaned softly. Joshua moved one hand to stroke Justin's thigh then, half-expecting Justin to flinch or push him away as he whispered, "Relax baby. It doesn't hurt for long."

Justin arched his back and lifted his hips to encourage Joshua deeper almost immediately, giving Joshua's arm a squeeze as he replied huskily, "Doesn't hurt now." Joshua relaxed his control a bit at that, slowly pushing deeper into Justin's body until Justin's grip on his shoulder tightened as he gasped, "God," lifting his hips to urge Joshua to move again as he added, "Feels so good."

Joshua slowly pulled back, then whispered softly, "Perfect," as he slid in again, this time changing the angle slightly. Justin groaned and arched up against him as Joshua’s cock rubbed against that spot inside, forcing Joshua to go deeper before he pulled back and they moved together again as Joshua closed his right hand around Justin's erection and began stroking it slowly. Joshua relaxed his control after that and just reacted to Justin, thrusting faster and harder as Justin moved under him, completely lost in the waves of pleasure Joshua was causing until he came with a loud cry, followed a moment later by Joshua as Justin's body tightened around him. Joshua thrust into him slowly a few more times before he collapsed forward onto Justin's chest and they laid there together for a little while, both still occasionally shuddering as their breathing slowly calmed.

Justin finally spoke softly after a little while, wonder obvious in his voice. "That was just... Wow. I had no idea it would be that good."

Joshua chuckled softly, then kissed Justin's sweaty cheek before he said, "Thank you."

Justin grinned in the darkness, tightening his arms around Joshua as he said, "That was even better than gettin' to make love to you, Josh. You are unbelievable."

"You're pretty special yourself," Joshua replied, chuckling softly again.

"Really?" Justin asked with a little grin.

"Yeah, baby," Joshua answered him, lifting himself up onto his elbows so he could look down at Justin in the darkness, even though he couldn't see him. "Making love to you just now was amazing, there's just no other way to describe it."

Justin smirked. "Told you I have a nice ass."

Joshua let his head fall forward to rest his forehead against Justin's shoulder as he laughed.

 

 

 

 

~ ~ 7 ~ ~

 

"What about this?"

Captain John Randall glanced down at where the perfectly-manicured fingertip was pointing to the small hand-drawn map he'd just thrown down on the large chart spread out in front of him, then looked back up at his passenger with a slight shrug. "We were a good day's sail from there the night Joshua went overboard, much closer to the islands we've been searching. It's marked because it's the only large source of fresh water around here, but we're not low."

One elegant eyebrow arched at that, and the passenger's cultured Southern drawl became decidedly more acidic as he asked, "And after we've _already_ checked the others, you didn't _think_ we should check the _only_ island in the area with fresh water before we set sail for New Orleans again and _give up_?"

"James, calm down," a voice with a strong Yankee accent said, sounding almost amused. "I'm sure John won't mind checking it out."

John looked towards where the other man was sprawled comfortably on the bunk across the room, resisting the urge to remind him that this was _his_ cabin. "Of course we can, if you think Joshua is that strong of a swimmer." He looked back over at James without waiting for a reply and added, "And I didn't say it was the only fresh water, just the only large source. Most of the islands have little springs that dry up late in the summer, but that island has a large artesian well that feeds a good-sized creek that's never been dry as long as my family has known of it. It's the largest island in the area too, and has quite a lot of natural fruit trees as well as free-range fowl and pigs."

"Why isn't it on the chart?" James asked, picking up the smaller map and shaking it slightly. "This map is the same as the one we've been sailing by for the last month, except the large one doesn't show this wonderful island."

"My grandfather was the corsair who used it as a base during the war of 1812, and old Justin asked that it never be put on any permanent charts," John replied matter-of-factly, giving the name 'Justin' the decidedly Creole-sounding pronunciation of 'Jhoo-stan'. "He said that island saved his skin quite a lot, and wanted his kin to have it in case of need."

"Well, if Josh washed up on it two months ago, I'd say he was definitely in need," the Yankee said then, chuckling. "Were the prevailing winds and currents such that he could have been carried that way during the storm?"

"Good question, Joseph," James said, nodding and looking at John expectantly.

John looked from Joseph to James, obviously surprised by the question, then leaned across to grab his log, checking the notes and looking at the main chart before he looked at his passengers again. "The currents and winds that night, _if_ he somehow missed this chain of islands, would have carried Joshua this way..." He drug his finger along the chart past the end of the archipelago they were anchored on and past a tiny blue dot on the map as he continued, "...directly past...." He looked up at James to reach for the smaller chart, and James handed it to him without a word, then John spread it in front of himself and looked down at it, tapping the flowing script below the drawing of the island as he said quietly, " _Sanctuaire_."

 

 

 

Joshua stood up on the hill above the cave, enjoying the invigoratingly cool evening air and watching the heavy clouds on the southern horizon roll closer as the last rays of the sun faded away, hoping it wouldn't be another hurricane as he thought about the last several months. He had needed time to think about his life and where he was going with it when Chris died, but as long as he was in their home or even at his family's plantation he had been unable to do anything but remember Chris and all he'd lost when Chris was thrown from that horse. Chris and Joshua had planned a trip together before Chris died, and after a few weeks of arguing with James – and then with his parents when James told them his plans – Joshua had left for New Orleans right after Christmas as planned with his round trip ticket to Bolivia aboard Captain John Randall's schooner, more interested in the trip than in actually seeing a new country and hoping that six months at sea would give him time to sort out his life.

The trip to Bolivia had been very quiet as Joshua hid away in his cabin on the boat and made his way through the crates of books that had made up almost all of his luggage, and when Joshua had finally disembarked on foreign soil he had been at a loss for why he was there. Captain Randall's boat would be anchored for a week, but Joshua had seen everything interesting in the area within a day and found himself back aboard ship with his books, this time reading out on the deserted deck. Captain Randall discovered him there a few days before they were due to set sail again, and after talking a few hours they had become fast friends, discovering they both enjoyed reading.

The trip back for Joshua had been much less isolated as he found himself on deck most days with the other two passengers and in the Captain's cabin most evenings, enjoying talking with an educated man at the level of equals as he hadn't been able to do since his days as a teacher at West Point. Joshua had still felt something was missing though, and as they got closer and closer to New Orleans he'd found himself unwilling to go back to his life, knowing he'd have to live it without Chris and wondering if maybe he shouldn't take a boat to France next and try and live out his childhood dream. When a storm had blown up one morning during the last week in June, Joshua had been feeling melancholy and a little reckless, and he'd snuck out on deck to watch the storm. A huge wave had washed him overboard only a few minutes later, proving that the Captain knew what he was talking about when he sent him to his cabin for safety.

Joshua still didn't remember a lot of the day and night following that, just an occasional glimpse of being carried by dolphins and then later flashes of what he now knew was Justin's hide, but waking up on the beach and seeing Justin's face in the slivery glow of pre-dawn was something he didn't think he'd ever forget. Justin had a sweet, young-looking face that made him seem a boy at first glance, but Joshua now knew quite well that there wasn't much child left in Justin. He'd grown up much too young and too fast, and been alone too long to be a child anymore. Only a man could have come through it at all, and only an amazing man could have survived so long, so completely alone, and come through so unscathed.

There was something about Justin that made every moment with him a thrill the like of which Joshua hadn't felt since he'd ridden his first race on one of his grandfather's horses when he was fourteen, a feeling that gave making love an extra element Joshua had never known until now. Joshua had loved Chris dearly and they'd had sex frequently, besides spending all the time their schedules allowed them to together, but it had never been with Chris like it was with Justin, not even in the beginning when everything was new and exciting. Joshua was still more than a little surprised at how amazing it had been to make love to Justin, and couldn't really think of the exact reason why even after almost two months of making love with Justin every night. He hadn't done anything with Justin that he hadn't done with Chris at some point in their relationship, so the intensity of how sex with Justin made him feel often completely blindsided Joshua, leaving him deliciously exhausted in Justin's arms every night.

Joshua's days on the island had quickly melted into weeks in Justin's company and care, and as Joshua stood there on the headland with the wind blowing his shaggy hair back out of his face he found himself hard-pressed to think of a time he'd ever been as happy as he was right that moment. He felt strong arms encircle his waist from behind a moment later and leaned back against Justin's chest, smiling softly as he turned his head to look into the storm-blue eyes that had become as beloved to him as a very different – and much harder to read – brown pair once had been and then looking back out to sea, wondering if there would ever come a time that just being with Justin wouldn't make him feel like he was flying.

"What are you thinking about?" Justin asked after several minutes, resting his chin on Joshua's shoulder as a flash of lightning lit up the sky.

"You, and Chris," Joshua answered, turning his head to kiss Justin's cheek and then looking straight ahead again as he added softly, "Old memories, mostly."

"You miss him, don't you," Justin said then, more as a statement than a question, his voice quiet and calm even though the subject of how he measured up to Chris was one he didn't like the think about.

Joshua was quiet for a moment, watching the way the clouds roiled in the moonlight, then finally admitted, "Sometimes."

"You loved him a lot."

Joshua nodded slightly, looking down as he whispered, "Yeah, more than anything."

Justin closed his eyes in the darkness, hoping his voice wouldn't betray him as he said softly, "I'm sorry."

Joshua lifted his head, frowning. "What for, Justin? It's not your fault he was always haring off alone on hunts or that the big bay he'd borrowed from Kevin that day was notorious for not watching where he was going. Chris knew better than to take Bull down the creekbed – I had even reminded him that morning that he couldn't trust Bull to take care of him like Lance's hunters did – and he did it anyway."

"I'm sorry that you can't be with him anymore," Justin clarified quietly. "You deserve to be with the one you love."

Joshua shook his head, turning in Justin's arms to look at him as he said softly, "Justin, no." Joshua lifted his hands to cup Justin's jaw, looking into his eyes in the faint moonlight as he went on, "Listen to me. Finding him lying there by Bull was the worst moment of my life, yeah, but I figured out _months_ before I met you that Chris lived and died free just like he wanted to, and I had to let him go and move on. I was sure I would do that alone until you found me on the beach and gave me something I never even knew I was missing. I loved Chris, even gave up my dreams for him, but that was a long time ago, sweetheart. After only a few days with you I already knew that you were as important to me as Chris ever was, if not more so. I _do_ love you, Justin, more than I can put into words."

Joshua felt Justin shudder slightly before he spoke, his voice rough with emotion. "I expected to live my life here alone, and you're like a dream come true, only more. I never even dreamed that I could be this lucky, Josh. I love you too."

Joshua smiled softly, trying not to think about the way Justin's eyes shimmered as he slipped his arms around Justin's neck and leaned closer to rest his forehead against Justin's, whispering, "I know." He kissed Justin softly then, lingering a only moment before there was a flash of lightning and then a loud clap of thunder that made him pull away, glancing up at the sky and then looking at Justin. "We'd better head down, we don't need to be caught out in a storm. Going down in the dark is dangerous enough for me."

Justin nodded and kissed Joshua quickly before he pulled away, smiling slightly as he took Joshua's hand in his own. "I'll keep you safe. I've gone up and down so this path many times I could do it with my eyes closed, so just follow me."

"All you have to do is lead the way, baby." Joshua smiled and gave Justin's hand a squeeze, earning a quick grin from Justin before he started down the narrow path that led back down to the cave with Joshua following at his heels.

They had barely made it to the cave a little while later when the storm reached the island, and Joshua paused in the tunnel to look out into the sudden driving rain for a long moment before he saw a flare of light out of the corner of his eye and turned to follow Justin into the cave. He smiled when he reached the end of the tunnel and stopped to admire the sight of Justin standing by the bed as he pushed his pants down his legs and then stepped out of them before he looked up.

"You're beautiful," Joshua said with a smile, "all golden skin and muscle."

Justin blushed, smiling at Joshua as he said, "C'mon Josh, you can make me blush later. It's time for bed."

Joshua grinned and hopped down into the cave, crossing the room quickly to slide his arms around Justin's waist as soon as he was close enough, stepping close to kiss Justin softly before he gave him a little smirk as his hands slid down over Justin's bare ass. "But I'm not sleepy."

"That's okay," Justin replied with an answering grin as he slid his hands between them to unbutton Joshua's pants, "neither am I."

 

 

 

"This island is nothing like the others we've visited," James said quietly, making Joseph glance at him and then look back out ahead of the boat, both of them watching as the rocky outcrop on one end of the island loomed large only a few hundred yards ahead of them. "I hope Josh is on this one. There's not really anywhere else he could be, if he's alive."

"I didn't think there were any islands down here that got more than twenty feet above sea level," Joseph agreed, unobtrusively moving his hand to cover James' on the railing so he could squeeze it reassuringly as he added, "And he is alive, Jamie, we _have_ to believe that. He'll be here unless he's been picked up by another ship, and if he has we'll see him once we get back to port. He _is_ alive, I'm sure of it."

"I wish I were so sure," James replied softly, leaning heavily on the rail and scanning the beach past the rocks of the cove where the Captain said they'd anchor looking for some sign of life, then straightened suddenly and stared in shock as a golden horse emerged from behind the rocks and galloped down the beach, a shirtless, tanned man with a riot of shaggy red-gold curls clinging to the horse's back as though he were a part of him.

Joseph let go of James' hand then to use both hands to shade his eyes, and was just about to call out to the familiar figure when James' voice rang out in his loudest parade-ground bellow, "Joshua!"

Joseph glanced at James and then looked quickly back towards the beach - it was barely a hundred yards away now, there was no way that James' yell would be missed – just in time to see the golden horse slide to a halt and rear, pivoting on his hind legs as the rider turned him to look at the ship. James and Joseph both stared, unable to miss the shock and dismay on every line of Joshua's familiar face as the palomino's forefeet touched the sand again. Joshua ran one hand along the horse's neck then, drawing their attention to the fact the horse wore nothing in the way of restraint, not even a light guiding rein.

"Josh!" James called again, totally ignoring the sound of the Captain ordering the sails furled as he grinned and waved at the man who had been his best friend other than Joseph for most of his adult life, happy to see him so obviously healthy until Joshua said something to the horse and then made the palomino whirl around and gallop away.

 

 

 

Justin ran hard down the beach away from the boat, swerving onto the first path they came to as Joshua automatically leaned forward to lay along his neck, the tension in Joshua's body obvious against Justin's sensitive skin and serving to urge him on faster. Seeing a boat would usually have been enough to get him to make himself scarce – he had before – but hearing someone call Joshua's name had made him stop to look. When he did, he had recognized the boat with a shudder, which had made Joshua stroke his neck reassuringly just before the man who'd called to Joshua yelled his name again. Joshua's legs had tightened around his barrel then as he'd told Justin to get out of there, and Justin had needed no other urging to run for it.

Justin kept running even after they burst from the trees into the long meadow, heading towards the waterfall at a gallop and slowing only when Joshua sat up, tugging on Justin's mane as they passed the tree they often napped under and saying, "Justin, stop!"

Justin slowed to a stop immediately, turning his head slightly to look back at Joshua as he flicked his ears back and came to a halt, every muscle in his body still tense because of the tension and slight tremble he could feel in Joshua's body. The wind was wrong for him to smell if Joshua's trembling was because of fear or not, but after the way Joshua told him to run he saw no reason to think otherwise.

Joshua leaned forward then, wrapping his arms around Justin's neck as he buried his face in his wiry white mane and murmured, "That was James who yelled at me, and the one next to him was Joseph. They must have gotten Captain Randall to come after me when I wasn't on the boat when it made port." Joshua was silent a moment as Justin stood there wishing he could hold him or at least talk to him, then Joshua sat up and slid off Justin's back, moving around in front of him and then abruptly sitting in the tall grass at Justin's feet, looking up at him as he said softly, "I haven't seen them in over seven months."

Justin lowered his head until it was almost level with Joshua's, looking into his eyes but not really replying in any way, and after a moment Joshua lifted his left hand to stroke Justin's cheek, leaning forward to rest his forehead against Justin's and closing his eyes as he whispered, "I've been so happy here, just the two of us. I love being here with you."

Justin whickered softly in agreement as Joshua's right hand moved to lay flat against his other cheek and then they were both silent as they just leaned against each other for several minutes, taking comfort in simply being together until Joshua finally let go and pulled away to look at Justin again. "Should we let them find us?"

Justin was still a long moment, then nosed Joshua's shoulder gently before tilting his head slightly to one side in a questioning gesture.

"Are you asking what I think?" Joshua asked then, and when Justin nodded slightly he sighed, looking down at his hands for a long moment as he thought about it before he finally looked back up and nodded. "If you think it's safe, then I want to talk to my friends. We don't have to go back with them, but I would like to know how my family is."

Justin nodded, lifting his head and turning it to gesture towards his side before he looked expectantly at Joshua again, making Joshua smile as he stood up and agreed, "You're right, no time like the present."

Justin nodded again and then nuzzled Joshua's cheek, completely unsurprised when Joshua kissed his muzzle lightly and whispered, "I love you too, Justin."

Justin whickered softly and stood still as Joshua moved to his shoulder and mounted, then he started towards the shortest path back to the beach as Joshua asked, "Can we go by the cave first, Justin? I'd like to put on a shirt and clean up a bit."

Justin tossed his head and veered off towards the path that led up to the cave, moving out at a purposeful canter as he wondered how his uncle John would react to seeing him again.

 

 

 

 

~ ~ 8 ~ ~

 

Justin stood quietly about fifteen feet from the mouth of the cave, his tail switching occasionally as he watched down the path and waited for Joshua, who was taking _far_ too long to find a clean shirt. He wasn't looking forward to being around other people again – he was happier than he had ever been before and would much rather go on living alone with Joshua – but he wanted Joshua to have the chance to see his friends so he steeled himself, hoping for the best but expecting the worst.

Joshua's happiness was worth any reaction he might have to endure. He was pretty sure he could tolerate anything for Joshua's sake.

 

 

 

James sat quietly next to Joseph in the front of the longboat, watching Captain Randall as he looked upwards to keep his eye on the crewmen who were lowering the boat. James was still trying to figure out why the Captain had insisted that they didn't need more of the crewmen with them to search for Joshua, instead limiting the people that made landfall to himself, his 'cabin boy' Jory, Joseph, and James.

To James it made no sense not to take advantage of their numbers to search the island more quickly, but when he had said as much to the Captain he had been informed that he couldn't spare the crew from the boat in the rocky waters around this particular island during hurricane season. That was barely plausible so James had stopped arguing and now they were in the boat, camping gear settling with a muted rattle in the stern as Jory freed the boat from the hawsers and then moved to the oars, taking the one opposite Captain Randall as they shoved away from the ship.

"Jory, why don't you let me do that?" Joseph said suddenly as the two men holding the oars began to paddle, making the other three in the boat look at him in surprise. "I'm not a seaman like you but I think I can row, and I could use the exercise."

Jory, whose build and looks – other than his hair color – reminded James strongly of Chris when he first met him, didn't slack off a bit, his brown eyes dancing with amusement as he replied, "Oh no, I can't be lettin' you do that, sir. Thanks for the offer, though."

Captain Randall nodded, smiling at Joseph as he added, "Why don't you keep an eye out ahead for rocks? This isle has quite a few in the shallows around it."

Jory nodded, lifting one hand from the oar to brush sun-streaked brown hair out of his face. "That'd be a great help. Last time we made landfall here, we nearly sank ourselves."

"Definitely don't want to do that, I'm a terrible swimmer," Joseph replied with a laugh, twisting around to look ahead of the boat.

James gave the deceptively beautiful water around them a worried look and then looked back up at the Captain. "Is it really dangerous?"

"Quite, yes," the Captain answered, nodding as the boat slid smoothly through the water, already nearing shore. "That's why we so seldom stop here. There's only one place within a league of shore that's safe to anchor, and the smaller rocks closer in shift with the storm tides so often that there's really no way to know where they'll be."

"Seems we've luck on our side today then," Joseph said, giving the Captain a quick grin before looking ahead of them again and watching the fish darting away in the clear water as the boat neared shore. "I don't see any rocks at all."

"Excellent," the Captain replied with a smile, looking past the men seated in the bow of the boat to scan the shoreline and seemingly addressing nobody in particular as he spoke again. "We'll want to set up camp in the meadow near the waterfall, I think. It's centrally located, and has the best grazing and fruit trees."

James watched the Captain's face as he spoke, his green eyes narrowing slightly as he remembered that Randall had told them on the boat that he'd only been on the island once before. "Did you know there were horses on the island?"

"Just the one," Captain Randall replied with a nod. "A stallion that's been here quite some time, but he avoided us the last time I was here. Joshua must be quite good with horses."

James' eyebrows went up at that, wondering why the Captain hadn't mentioned the horse. Jory snorted softly and gave the Captain a sideways look that spoke volumes. James frowned slightly and looked towards the island then, barely noticing it when the bottom of the boat brushed against sand and Jory and Joseph jumped from the boat to pull it further up onto the beach.

Jory, who quite simply idolized Captain Randall, had looked at the Captain like he was a complete idiot, and James _really_ wanted to know why.

 

 

 

Justin was mostly asleep by the time Joshua _finally_ returned from the cave, his head hanging so that his muzzle was even with his knees and one hind hoof lifted to barely rest on the ground. He didn't hear Joshua until he jumped down to the ground with a muffled thump. Justin lazily turned his head to look at him, yawning in the late morning sun as he idly wished he'd gotten a chance to nap this morning, then what he was seeing finally registered and he threw up his head in surprise, staring at Joshua.

Joshua had changed into the breeches he was wearing the night he washed ashore - they fit him better than any of the breeches Justin had – and put on one of Justin's white linen shirts, tucking it in so it wouldn't look quite so ridiculously large. He'd taken the time to shave too, and had dampened his hair and combed out the curls, tying it back into a neat tail at the base of his neck with a scrap of ribbon that Justin probably would have wondered about, had he noticed it. As it was, there was really only one thing on his mind as Joshua walked quickly towards him. Joshua was a beautiful, sexy man, and right at that moment Justin wished fervently that he could tell him that. And then kiss him. All over.

"What?" Joshua asked suddenly then, his brow creasing in concern. "Do I look bad or something? Why are you staring at me like that?"

Justin snorted at that and shook his head vigorously as he shifted to stand squarely on all four feet, then gave Joshua a pointed look and whinnied.

Joshua laughed, reaching for Justin's mane and then swinging up on his back as he said, "I know, I know. Stupid question, you can tell me later."

Justin nickered softly, tossing his head as he looked back at Joshua, then he started down the trail at a walk as Joshua began idly running his fingers through Justin's long wavy mane.

They traveled in silence except for the sound of Justin's hooves hitting the ground until Justin turned onto the path that would bring them to the beach closest to the ship, when Joshua suddenly said, "We don't have to do this, Justin. I'm _happy_ here with you, we could just avoid them until they leave."

Justin snorted softly and shook his head as he shifted into an easy canter, ignoring his own inclination to fade into the jungle until his uncle was gone so he wouldn't have to face the man he had idolized until the day Uncle John abandoned him on the island. Joshua's friends were with Uncle John and he wanted Joshua to be able to see them before they left, and that meant Justin would have to face his past. Justin refused to be the reason that Joshua never saw his friends again.

"Okay, I get your drift," Joshua said with a smile as they neared the beach. "But if it gets to be too much, just let me know."

Justin whinnied softly, nodding his head as they emerged from the trees, then stopped abruptly. He'd been expecting the sight of men walking up the beach in their general direction, but when he recognized the one in the lead, the feel of Joshua's soothing hand on his neck was the only thing that kept him from bolting.

"Josh!" James called out, hurrying past Jory with a grin. "Why did you run before?"

Joshua shrugged, smiling at his friend as he rubbed Justin's neck, somehow sure Justin would be happier if he didn't dismount. "We didn't expect to see anyone when we went out this morning, really. I went to get some decent clothes on."

"We?" James asked as he neared them, pausing several feet away when the palomino stallion fidgeted nervously. James tilted his head slightly and wondered exactly how Joshua had been 'washed overboard' with a razor and comb, not to mention clean clothes that were obviously not his. The shirt Joshua was wearing was wide enough across the shoulders to have easily fit Joseph, and James knew that Joshua had always worn tailored clothing that fit him impeccably.

Joshua nodded, patting Justin's shoulder as Joseph, Jory, and Captain Randall stopped next to James. "Yep, _we_. This is--"

"Timber," Jory interrupted as he dropped the pack he'd been carrying and moved closer, grinning up at Joshua even though there was an odd look in his eyes. "How did you catch him?"

Joshua looked down at Jory, frowning slightly when Jory reached out to touch Justin's shoulder and Justin shuddered. "I didn't. You could sort of say he caught me."

Justin stepped away from Jory then and Jory opened his mouth to say something just as Captain Randall suddenly said, "Jory, why don't you pick up that pack and we can all head inland out of the sun." The captain smiled at Joshua as he added, "I'm sure Joshua has quite a lot to tell us."

Joshua returned the smile, nodding. "There's a nice clearing not far from here. Maybe a five minute walk."

Joseph grinned up at him and lifted one hand in an 'after you' gesture. "Lead the way then, Josh. I'm sure you know your way around better than we do."

Justin turned away from them, walking into the trees as Joshua laughed and looked over his shoulder at the others. "How long have you been looking for me?"

"Almost a month," James replied with a smile as he moved to walk next to Justin, wondering at the fact the horse 'Timber' had turned to head inland without any signal on Joshua's part. "We'd almost given up. I'm glad I was looking through Captain Randall's charts and happened to find the one that had this island on it. It's not on any of the main charts."

The palomino snorted softly at that, switching his tail, and Joshua patted his shoulder as he said quietly, "At least James saw it." He glanced back at the other three following more slowly with the camping gear to give Captain Randall and Jory both a dirty look before he looked at James and smiled again. "It's been a long time since I've seen you two."

"Were you just talking to the horse?" James asked, raising one eyebrow.

Justin swiveled one ear towards James as Joshua nodded, smiling. "Yeah, I was."

"Josh..." James trailed off, looking slightly worried, and then went on warily, "Do you think he answers you?"

Joshua grinned at James, his blue eyes twinkling. "Most of the time, yes. When I remember not to ask something too complex for him."

Justin tossed his head at that as James let out a soft laugh, surprised. "I think maybe you've been alone too long, Josh."

Joshua just grinned wider and shook his head, ducking to avoid a tree branch and then looking down at the back of Justin's head. "No, Jamie. I haven't been alone at all. I just found what I was looking for, that's all."

James watched Joshua with a bemused look as they walked on for a few minutes in silence, then finally asked, "What were you looking for, Josh?"

Joshua turned his head to look at James again, and the smile on his face easily the happiest expression James had seen there since well before Chris died. "I hoped to find a lot of things on my trip, really. What I wanted to do with the rest of my life, a little freedom, myself." Joshua suddenly grinned, looking down at the white mane under his hands and tugging it lightly as he added, "A reason to go on."

"And what did you find?" James asked softly, trying to make sense of the way Joshua was acting.

Joshua looked over at James again, a bright, happy smile on his face as he replied simply, "My heart." James' eyebrows went up at that as he stared up at Joshua, then Justin whickered softly and Joshua reached forward to ruffle the horse's white forelock with a smile. "It's just the truth."

Justin turned his head slightly to look back at Joshua then, and if James didn't know better he could have sworn the horse's blue eyes were full of amusement as it flicked its tail, the long hair whisking against Joshua's bare foot while he grinned at the horse and then looked at James. "I'm glad you came looking for me, Jamie, don't get me wrong, but I've been perfectly happy here."

"Josh, you _hate_ to be alone," James replied, trying to push the horse's odd behavior – it _had_ to be his imagination – from his mind as he looked up at Joshua. "How could you _possibly_ be happy on a deserted island without even a book to read?"

Joshua laughed as they emerged from the trees into the small meadow he had first seen when he came to the island, then smiled down at James. "I told you, I haven't _been_ alone, Jamie, not more than a few minutes at a time at any rate. This is a beautiful island and I've had _great_ company. It's been nice to just relax and know I didn't have anything to worry about but feeding myself and staying out of the sun until I got used to it so I wouldn't burn. I love it here."

James stopped, his forehead creasing in a frown as Justin stopped too. "Josh, are you saying you want to _stay_ here?"

Joshua looked thoughtfully at James for a moment before he looked across the meadow, stroking Justin's neck. "Well... I'm not sure." The others moved out of the trees behind them then but Joshua paid no attention to them, looking down at Justin, who was watching him out of the corner of his eye. "I could be perfectly happy here the rest of my life, if that's what Justin wants."

"Who's Justin?" James asked, looking confused as Joseph stopped next to him, setting down the pack he'd been carrying.

Joshua opened his mouth to reply then, but before he could Jory moved forward to slap Justin's hip a goodly bit harder than was really necessary, making Justin flinch away as Jory grinned at James. "That'd be old Timber here."

Joshua frowned at Jory, not really even thinking about it as he heeled Justin's side to make him move away. "Don't touch him again, Jory."

Jory's eyebrows went up. "And why not? He was mine before he was yours."

Joshua stiffened at that, sitting up straighter as his blue eyes narrowed and Justin fidgeted, moving even further from the others. "Yeah, well, that may be, but _you_ abandoned him and left him here to live or die completely _alone_. He's _mine_ now, and you're not gonna touch him again if I have my way."

"And I'm sure you _have_ had your way," Jory replied with a knowing look, stepping towards Justin again.

Justin's ears laid back at that and Joshua's expression went from merely annoyed to downright pissed off. "If you know what's good for you, Jory, you'll stop right there and back off. Justin's mine and I intend to see he stays that way."

"Am I the only one who's missing about half of this conversation?" Joseph asked into the tense silence then, looking from Joshua to Jory and back again as the two men glared at each other.

"No, I'm definitely missing something too," James replied, looking confused and more than a little annoyed.

Joshua glared at Jory a moment longer, then looked at his two best friends a moment before looking at Captain Randall, his expression more than a little defiant. "Would you like to explain it to them, John?"

Captain Randall sighed and then asked, "Do you really think that's wise, Joshua?"

"Joe and Jamie would never hurt me or someone I love," Joshua replied confidently, looking at Joseph and James as he half-asked, "Right?"

"Of course," Joseph replied immediately. "You're family, Josh."

James nodded, adding, "There's room in the hold for your horse, if that's what you're so worried about. I'm sure we can find someplace you can board him if you want to return to the Point with him."

Jory laughed. "Oh yes! Put Timber in a boarding stable! _That_ ought to be interesting."

"You're getting on my last nerve, Jory," Joshua said with another glare for the younger man. "If you like your face arranged as it is now, you'll shut up and go away."

"Yes, Jory," Captain Randall said with a frown, "do find something useful to do. Perhaps you should go set up the tents."

Jory rolled his eyes and grabbed the pack with the tent in it, muttering under his breath as he walked away.

Joshua watched until Jory was well away from them and then looked at James. "I won't be teaching again, or boarding Justin out, _ever_. He's staying with me, Jamie. He's _not_ just a horse."

James resisted the urge to roll his eyes as he said patiently, "Josh, I'm sure he's not just another horse, but boarding stables aren't so bad. My hunters are all pampered shamelessly by the Rivers girls, and I'm sure they'd enjoy having a nice cob like Justin to fawn over." Jamie paused a moment, looking Justin over as he added, "Though if he's a stallion they might ask you to geld him."

Captain Randall chuckled at that as Justin snorted and laid back his ears again, but Joshua was already talking, an expression on his face somewhere between amusement and annoyance. "Not just no, but _hell_ no, Jamie. He'll keep his dangly bits right where they are."

"Why, Josh?" Jamie asked, looking a little surprised as Captain Randall tried to stifle his chuckling. "Geldings make much better mounts."

Joshua let out a short bark of a laugh. "Maybe so, but they're _horses_. I happen to like Justin hung just like he is, thank you very much, and _nobody_ is removing two of my four favorite testicles."

Justin whinnied and nodded his head vigorously in obvious agreement as Captain Randall covered his mouth, and Joseph's eyes were very wide as he stared at the palomino. James blinked and then said slowly, "Josh, I think you have _definitely_ been alone a little bit too long."

Joshua snorted softly, then suddenly made a decision and looked at Captain Randall, exasperated. " _You_ explain it to them." Captain Randall laughed and nodded at that as Joshua went on, "Justin and I didn't get _any_ sleep to speak of last night, and I dunno about him but I'm tired. We'll be back at sunset."

"Couldn't you sleep here, Josh?" James asked, frowning.

Joshua laughed. "Well, we _could_ , sure, but we'd much rather sleep without an audience."

"You're going to sleep with _the_ _horse_ ," James said flatly.

Joshua nodded, perversely enjoying James' disapproval as he grinned at the man who had been his best friend for almost half his life. "That's right, just like pretty much every single time I've slept since he pulled me out of the ocean. He makes quite a good pillow, and I _never_ sleep unsatisfied when I sleep with Justin."

"Eww," Joseph said, wrinkling his nose. "I know you love horses, Josh, but that's a _little_ extreme, don't you think?"

"It's not _extreme,_ it's _disgusting_ ," James said, frowning distastefully. "He's an _animal_."

"Sometimes, yes," Joshua replied with a grin as Justin nickered softly in amusement, then Joshua waved and added, "Good luck, John. Use little bitty words for your explanation, they're going to be more than a little dense about it, I think. We'll see you later."

Justin turned away and started across the meadow then with James and Joseph both watching, still looking disgusted and more than a little lost. Captain Randall walked up between them and draped his arms across their shoulders, grinning. "Don't worry, boys. I think I can explain."

James looked at Justin and Joshua a moment longer, then looked at Captain Randall. "I sure hope so."

 "Well," John began with a chuckle, "It all started about a hundred years ago, when my great-grandfather angered a very powerful voodoo priestess. She cursed his line, and since then the eldest child of each generation has been afflicted with a curse." He looked off in the direction Justin and Joshua went, smiling crookedly and looking sad. "When they reach puberty, they go through a ... change.  My grandmother was the eldest of her generation, and the curse began to affect her when she was nine. By day she was a beautiful young girl, loved by everyone for her sweet temperament and her gentle ways, but by night she transformed into a black wolf."

James pulled away from the arm John had around his shoulders, moving away a step even as he turned to face John. "Surely you can't expect us to _believe_ that."

Joseph moved away from John as well to stand next to James, looking very skeptical. "Your grandmother was a werewolf?"

James gave Joseph a surprised look as John shook his head. "Not a _loup-garou_ , Joseph, but she changed to a wolf when the sun left the sky, yes. It was the curse, you see. The eldest of each generation of my family is cursed to be trapped within an animal's hide for half their life."

Joseph's eyes widened and he said slowly, "And Justin is your son?"

James stared back and forth between Joseph and John, a mixture of shock and disbelief on his face as he tried to make sense of what was being said.

"Not my son," John said with a sigh, "my sister's. Justin was twelve when he woke one morning in the form of a horse and panicked, destroying his bedroom before anyone could get to him to find out what was going on. My sister reacted... badly, and Justin was moved out to live in the stables."

"With me," Jory said, walking over to rejoin them. The tent wasn't up yet, but he wanted to be part of the conversation and he knew John would allow it now that Justin was gone.

James looked at Jory a moment, frowning. "That's what you meant when you said the horse was yours first."

"It is," Jory said, just a bit belligerent. "Justin and I were closer than his father liked, so he sent me away to work on John's ship."  He looked at John, a hint of reproach in his eyes as he added, "And my first voyage was also Justin's last."

John sighed, looking away towards the path he knew led up to the cave high on the mountain. "He is not my son, Jory, much as I could wish differently. His mother and father wished him left here alone, and I truly thought he'd be safer here."

"I could have stayed with him," Jory said softly, a hint of anger in his voice. "He hates me now because of what we did."

John looked at Jory with a snort. "No, he hates you because you treat him like a pet."

Jory flinched and looked away. "I... I'm not proud of it, but I can't help it. I want him to remember what we had, but he ignores me utterly unless I don't give him a choice."

"Perhaps you should take a hint from that," Joseph said quietly, still a bit wide-eyed but much calmer. "Were I him, I would have kicked you for the way you treated him before they left to get away from you."

James stared at Joseph. "You can't truly _believe_ all of this?"

Joseph smiled crookedly at James. "There are more things of heaven and earth than are even dreamt of by men."

"You mangled that pitiably," James said absently, still looking a bit shocked.

Joseph laughed. "Likely so, but it's still true, Jamie. That horse responded to our words and is more intelligent than any horse I have seen in a lifetime with them. Besides, _Joshua_ believes, I think, and he is the one who has spent a month with ... well, with Justin."

James stared a moment more and then slowly shook his head, looking away. "I can't believe something so outlandish so easily. Not until I see it for myself."

John chuckled and reached to pat James' shoulder, smiling. "Wait for sunset then, my friend, and you can meet Justin in his true form." He turned away to walk towards the pile of canvas that would soon be a tent, adding, "Until then, I suggest we get camp set up and take a nap. I have a feeling it will be a long night tonight."

"A sound plan of action," Joseph agreed, smiling as he followed John. "I'll help with the tent."

James looked off towards the path Joshua and the palomino stallion had taken, just staring for a long moment as he tried to decide whether or not it could be possible that the horse was really a man. Finally he just shook his head and turned to go help with the tent, still undecided as to whether or not he could believe such a thing. John was an intelligent, well-read man so James couldn't completely dismiss the idea, but it went against all he knew to be true and left him feeling unsettled until he could see for himself one way or another.

Sunset couldn't arrive soon enough to suit him.

 

 

~ End

**Author's Note:**

> And that's it. I'm sorry, but this is as finished as the story will ever be. I always thought Justin and Joshua would end up in France on the property left to Joshua by his grandfather, but I never could get the story to tell me how they would get there. I've tried a million times and finally had to concede defeat. It's not the ending I wanted, but it's an ending of sorts.


End file.
